Feeling like BuzzFeed News' new #FreeBritney article, and parasocial relationships, placed me in a weird box ☹️

[Jordan Miller]

2 hours ago, BUWYGF said:

The journalist who wrote this should first learn that healthy relationships are based on people doing things for each other without expecting ANYTHING in return. Which is exactly what this fanbase is doing: Britney Army is fighting for Britney's freedom without expecting a single thing in return.

I loooove this point. Exactly. I legit don't expect a thing in return, nor does any fan really. That is the beauty of this movement. It's pure. I wish the article touched on that. 

[Jordan Miller]

47 minutes ago, Just_Luv_Me said:

I read this article this morning and got a weird vibe from it as well. It came off to me like the author had the idea to write an article about the parasocial relationship as a concept, but using #FreeBritney to illustrate their point was the wrong choice. #FreeBritney involves a very complicated set of circumstances and it can’t really be studied or critiqued as just another pop star fandom movement. Honestly, I had a lot of thoughts about Britney’s situation being the wrong example for that article, so if anyone wants to hear anymore of them just let me know and I’ll write them out.

I agree. I feel like this was not the best route to take when analyzing parasocial relationships. Or at the very least, it didn't scratch the surface of how complicated and layered this situation is. Just very surface level and lacking depth (imo) 

[Steel Magnolia]

Ah, I can relate.

In real life, I've been following the same story for 18 years...To the point it consumed every element of my being.

Finances, emotions, identity...I lost it all and at a certain point about 10 years ago I had to see a therapist for a bit to "find myself" again. It got pretty dark for a while there. 

I use Exhale as a way to escape it.

The story I'm following and advocating for involves someone's death...so Britney's situation seems light in comparison. 

[PokemonSpears]

 so they're telling me after 23 years of relationship and calling Britney my long-distance girlfriend, she doesn't even know who I am and this is just a parasocial relationship?

[Stefani]

Gaslighting at its finest. We can't even support Britney without our mental state being questioned. I bet that "doctor" has ties with Team Con. 

[HolyTrinity]

I like Britney's art I appreciate her as an artist for putting her heart and talent into her work for 2 decades.

Excuse me if I do everything in my power to support a movement that friking fights for her human being rights. 

I will do the same for a stranger without any hesitation.

PERIOD 

[autumngoodbye91]

I read some books about parasocial relationships a while ago because I find it super interesting, and the way they describe it in this article is really simplistic and overly negative.

In truth, almost everyone engages in parasocial relationships in one way or another. Whether it's daydreaming about someone you have a crush on, or being emotionally invested in a character in a TV show, or being a fan of a pop star. Or cultures where people are in touch with the spirits of their ancestors for example, those are parasocial relationships too in a way. It's something that has always existed throughout history and all over the world in some shape or form and probably always will, it's not limited to pop music fans.

And also, apparently it's actually beneficial to have these types of relationships: they give a lot of people joy, and they also bring people together -- like, for instance, we wouldn't all be on this forum talking to each other if we weren't all Britney fans, so our parasocial relationship to Britney actually also connects us, and I think that's beautiful in a way? There's also a theory that engaging in parasocial relationships increases your capacity for empathy, because basically you're putting yourself in the shoes of someone you've never met.

So yeah I find it a bit sad that it's being stigmatised in this article. There's a lot more to parasocial relationships than just writing people off as "lol crazy fans".

[Ghoulia]

1 hour ago, Jordan Miller said:

Yea it's like the wove in this doctor's definition of what parasocial interaction is but didn't take into context anything else. And yea I found that part about too much energy interesting. I did tell her that, but I also mentioned I channeled my energy into gymnastics and breatheheavy. I never said I didn't have enough activities.

The "enough activities" part is a cheap shot at you, possibly to attack your credibility? But this is such a poor angle for her to take as you're her direct source and the topic of the article!  It would have been one thing to quote you as saying something like that about yourself, tongue in cheek, but that's clearly not the case.  It sets up a bad taste in the reader's mouth as she's disparaging your younger self and in a way, shaming you.  

     "When the 33-year-old launched the blog, he was a closeted sophomore in high school. With too much energy and not enough  activities, he began posting about the pop star without his classmates knowing — openly running a Spears fan site might have given away his ***ual identity, he said." ----> She's suggesting that this is your EXCUSE for starting BreatheHeavy??!!! Rude.  

     "The relationship he has with Spears is parasocial, a one-way social tie in which a person “imagines a relationship with a celebrity or media figure,” Tracy R. Gleason, psychology professor at Wellesley College, told BuzzFeed News."  ---> No transition between the last paragraph and this one.  This suggests that you, as a 'closeted sophomore' had an excuse for the website, but now, the relationship is ~abnormal~ because you're 33.  

Um also, she's misquoting Professor Gleason.  

[Peter Pan]

1 hour ago, Jordan Miller said:

Agreed 100% - everything in moderation. Admittedly there's been a Britney information overload as of late considering everything, but I don't necessarily thinks that puts me in this weird box that BuzzFeed placed me in.

I don’t know you that well but what I’ve seen so far is that you’re a caring person. And having administrated a big Britney forum myself for 10 years I know how it feels to be a fan and also have the fans (and non fans) opinions on you. Stay true to yourself and what you believe in and don’t let others get to you. Once again, I think you and your Britney adoration is perfectly fine. BuzzFeed and(some) other journalists just like to put us fans in a certain box that benefits their story. 

[Jordan Miller]

57 minutes ago, autumngoodbye91 said:

And also, apparently it's actually beneficial to have these types of relationships: they give a lot of people joy, and they also bring people together -- like, for instance, we wouldn't all be on this forum talking to each other if we weren't all Britney fans, so our parasocial relationship to Britney actually also connects us, and I think that's beautiful in a way? There's also a theory that engaging in parasocial relationships increases your capacity for empathy, because basically you're putting yourself in the shoes of someone you've never met.

 

Damn I love this paragraph so much  

This was beautifully said, and a great reminder of why we're all here. This this this. This is what the article should have centered around!! Thank you! 

[phareezy]

This article wasn't very fair to you, Jordan. Or any fans for that matter. It definitely tried to make us sound like crazy people who don't have lives outside of Britney. I can only speak for myself, I guess but that certainly isn't true.

We all choose how we want to spend our free time. Everyone here has clearly chosen to make some time for Britney. Just because we're trying to help someone that has made an impact on us get their life back in our free time doesn't make us weirder than people who choose to spend their free time posting selfies on Instagram or thinking about writing think pieces about people who enjoy the work of a celebrity ( ) . I don't even think of #FreeBritney as a stan issue, it's a social justice issue, which just happens to have a huge celebrity as the face of it.

I get this fanbase has a spotlight on us right now but what about talking to people in a fanbase where the artist is actually gone? That could have helped to make this article feel more fulfilled. Michael Jackson did and still does have hardcore stans and after he died, they moved on and kept it moving. No one's life was shattered to the point of no return and there weren't any think pieces about their obsessions when he was going to court. 

Who is this woman? A team con plant  don't let it get to you, @Jordan Miller. Seems like she had an agenda with this.

[hallucinate]

Why write about something if you don’t understand it? That goes for this author and other blue checks I’ve seen posting about parasocial relationships lately - it seems to be a popular topic. This whole article is misguided. I’m sorry you got dragged into it.

[Zeke]

I just read the article and... yep you've got every right to feel upset, Jordan

There's this not-so-subtle undertone regarding your, and other fans, motives and mental health.

It's pretty sad taking into account what Britney's fans efforts have meant, not only to Britney's case but to conservatorships and other legal affairs in the U.S.

[IStandByWhatISaid]

I don't know if it's your case but there's people who can develop a fake relationship with the artist they follow, I remember a very annoying girl that believes that she's friend with some very famous female singer cause she look at her 2 times in 2 different years when she went to the airport... so are people who develop an unhealthy para-whatever thing this article says

[girl_bye]

well its buzzfeed, they generally miss the point on every article they write

should really stick to making those stupid quizes, theyre the only thing worth visiting the website for

[iamxmickey]

7 hours ago, Jordan Miller said:

I need to get this off my chest.

BuzzFeed published a new article about the Free Britney movement and what advocates will do once the dust settles. It also touches on fans and their parasocial relationship with Britney.

The doctor interviewed defines a parasocial relationship as a "one-way social tie in which a person 'imagines a relationship with a celebrity or media figure.'" 

The interviewer prior to our chat did disclose that their article would center around this concept. 

I didn't expect them to publish this bit, but I told the interviewer I recently started working with a life coach, in-part, because I feel like BreatheHeavy is weighing heavy on me right now. I didn't anticipate reflecting on so much of my own life following Britney's testimony - it's been a really interesting, sometimes sad, sometimes empowering experience looking back on everything and bringing it up in interviews. When I look back on posts I've written in the past, I would recall in detail where I was at that point in time. I'm not convinced people in general are meant to look back on things, and because I have 30,000 posts from 2004 to 2020, I can recall a lot about my life when I see what I wrote. It's a bit weird. 

Gotta admit, I haven't been feeling 100% like myself these last few months (there are other things going on in-tandem that I'll open up about soon, nothing health or family related fortunately). I've been feeling a little off, so I sought out help from a life coach to help me better understand the world around me and why I might be feeling X Y Z. 

That's why I thought this topic about Britney and fans' mental health was really special and important. Our mental health is the MOST important thing in our lives, because without it being in-check, our quality of life deteriorates. I can recognize in myself that I'm dealing with some things and sought out help. I'd like to help normalize that. 

After giving myself a moment to digest this article, I walked away from it feeling like I was placed in a box.

Super grateful to be featured in an article and receive that attention for BreatheHeavy, which is why I proceed with caution when I say I didn't love reading someone's perception of my "relationship" with Britney. The tone just felt, I don't know? A little negative. I ran this by a few people close to me to make sure I wasn't making a mountain out of a molehill, and they agreed that yea, the choice of words had an angle. 

If anyone can understand what I mean, it's you all.

We ALL have our own relationship with Britney, albeit one-sided (I guess?). Fans of any artist does. Fans' love for Britney, and the teamwork displayed in the Free Britney movement, has made quantifiable change for Britney in her conservatorship. Britney in-turn has thanked the fans and supported #FreeBritney. That doesn't feel so one-sided to me. I wish that part was covered, or at least explored. 

I think any coverage on the Free Britney movement is incredible, and I'm very grateful to be a part of it, but this was the first instance I felt like I was cast in a certain light and didn't portray me in a way I liked. Maybe that's a whole separate issue, and I'm hiding from a truth that I have a strange, parasocial and one-sided relationship with Britney, and I'm uncomfortable with this article because it struck a nerve? Ahh, the joys of overthinking. 

Thoughts, Exhale? Am I being too sensitive? Was there an underlying tone of slightly-obsessive fandomness here?  I'd love to hear what you think. 

Read the new BuzzFeed article here.

 

 

Related:

 

Jordan, you should be careful with these kind of interviews. Can’t u let them be pre-approved? This isn’t the first time the media spins it a whole other way. And you mean no harm at all. Watch yourself Jordy! ♥️

[Bigno]

3 hours ago, autumngoodbye91 said:

I read some books about parasocial relationships a while ago because I find it super interesting, and the way they describe it in this article is really simplistic and overly negative.

In truth, almost everyone engages in parasocial relationships in one way or another. Whether it's daydreaming about someone you have a crush on, or being emotionally invested in a character in a TV show, or being a fan of a pop star. Or cultures where people are in touch with the spirits of their ancestors for example, those are parasocial relationships too in a way. It's something that has always existed throughout history and all over the world in some shape or form and probably always will, it's not limited to pop music fans.

And also, apparently it's actually beneficial to have these types of relationships: they give a lot of people joy, and they also bring people together -- like, for instance, we wouldn't all be on this forum talking to each other if we weren't all Britney fans, so our parasocial relationship to Britney actually also connects us, and I think that's beautiful in a way? There's also a theory that engaging in parasocial relationships increases your capacity for empathy, because basically you're putting yourself in the shoes of someone you've never met.

So yeah I find it a bit sad that it's being stigmatised in this article. There's a lot more to parasocial relationships than just writing people off as "lol crazy fans".

I love your well written perspective and I agree. Everything can be negative if it's taken to extremes. Yes, I do see people here who are struggling and clearly taking this Britney situation as coping mechanism. But a parasgicial relationship is not bad per se and I also agree that they could have presented this without using the fans, not because there aren't some, let's call them, extremely attached, obsessive individuals, but because those (as many as there are) don't define the core of the movement. In every human endeavor, there will always be those who know no boundaries, no matter what. That doesn't define everyone. 

 I haven't even lifted a finger, really. I wish her well and I come and post here when I am curious or bored, and I found this somewhat blind, somewhat passive aggressive. I haven't done half of the great things many fans have done, haven't invested a quarter of the energy and effort of people who have uncovered a lot and yet, the article is extremely negative while stigmatizing all parasocial relationships, without further analysis and all free Britney supporters, which is absolutely wrong. 

As someone already said, when something becomes extremely public, it becomes a little bit polarizing because everyone thinks differently. I would say that only self reflection can help. If you think your relationship and dynamics regarding Britney or anyone is fruitful and serves a purpose, good. If you feel it might be crossing some personal boundaries, then it's time to think why. 

Other people's opinions don't matter as much as the ones we have about ourselves. 

[Itscuzim31]

Keep it up And take care of yourself  

[TheDukeDan]

18 hours ago, Jordan Miller said:

I need to get this off my chest.

BuzzFeed published a new article about the Free Britney movement and what advocates will do once the dust settles. It also touches on fans and their parasocial relationship with Britney.

The doctor interviewed defines a parasocial relationship as a "one-way social tie in which a person 'imagines a relationship with a celebrity or media figure.'" 

The interviewer prior to our chat did disclose that their article would center around this concept. 

I didn't expect them to publish this bit, but I told the interviewer I recently started working with a life coach, in-part, because I feel like BreatheHeavy is weighing heavy on me right now. I didn't anticipate reflecting on so much of my own life following Britney's testimony - it's been a really interesting, sometimes sad, sometimes empowering experience looking back on everything and bringing it up in interviews. When I look back on posts I've written in the past, I would recall in detail where I was at that point in time. I'm not convinced people in general are meant to look back on things, and because I have 30,000 posts from 2004 to 2020, I can recall a lot about my life when I see what I wrote. It's a bit weird. 

Gotta admit, I haven't been feeling 100% like myself these last few months (there are other things going on in-tandem that I'll open up about soon, nothing health or family related fortunately). I've been feeling a little off, so I sought out help from a life coach to help me better understand the world around me and why I might be feeling X Y Z. 

That's why I thought this topic about Britney and fans' mental health was really special and important. Our mental health is the MOST important thing in our lives, because without it being in-check, our quality of life deteriorates. I can recognize in myself that I'm dealing with some things and sought out help. I'd like to help normalize that. 

After giving myself a moment to digest this article, I walked away from it feeling like I was placed in a box.

Super grateful to be featured in an article and receive that attention for BreatheHeavy, which is why I proceed with caution when I say I didn't love reading someone's perception of my "relationship" with Britney. The tone just felt, I don't know? A little negative. I ran this by a few people close to me to make sure I wasn't making a mountain out of a molehill, and they agreed that yea, the choice of words had an angle. 

If anyone can understand what I mean, it's you all.

We ALL have our own relationship with Britney, albeit one-sided (I guess?). Fans of any artist does. Fans' love for Britney, and the teamwork displayed in the Free Britney movement, has made quantifiable change for Britney in her conservatorship. Britney in-turn has thanked the fans and supported #FreeBritney. That doesn't feel so one-sided to me. I wish that part was covered, or at least explored. 

I think any coverage on the Free Britney movement is incredible, and I'm very grateful to be a part of it, but this was the first instance I felt like I was cast in a certain light and didn't portray me in a way I liked. Maybe that's a whole separate issue, and I'm hiding from a truth that I have a strange, parasocial and one-sided relationship with Britney, and I'm uncomfortable with this article because it struck a nerve? Ahh, the joys of overthinking. 

Thoughts, Exhale? Am I being too sensitive? Was there an underlying tone of slightly-obsessive fandomness here?  I'd love to hear what you think. 

Read the new BuzzFeed article here.

 

 

Related:

 

« I wasn’t seen in the light I wanted to be seen »

 - Britney, 2008, For The Record

[pancake]

this only happens to britney fans lol

youve been following britney for many years so you know how media can get

if you feel some truth was there you can just observe it

and if not...well, articles will say what they say ...to attract readers and be ''controversial''

good luck with your life coach btw. youre being proactive about your well being and thats pretty amazing