Hearing Homophobic Remarks From Your Family Members

[redacted statement]

10 hours ago, Blackout2006 said:

Wait arent you a girl tho?

[Korb]

I'm so proud of you guys in this thread
I've read your stories and it's very moving tbh.
I mean,don't we all go through this? Especially when you're closeted,family members and even "friends" get real bold around you and feel safe enough to let out a really bigoted and hurtful remark not realizing they're hurting you and literally spreading hatred for no reason. Even worse is not being able to say anything in fear of outing yourself or rousing suspicion.

My advice to yall is to never let hateful straight people make you feel less than.
Always maintain that you are not a lesser or an other,you are a person and an equal and you can do and be anything a straight person does or is. PERIOD
I promise that the older you get ,the more secure and comfortable you will become with yourself. Be proud to be gay.

I wish we didn't live in a world where people had to come out,btw. Gay people are here and they ain't going anywhere so I wish parents and people in general would stop assuming everyone is straight by default unless they say otherwise. I wish people would at the very LEAST just be open to the possibility of their friend or son being gay. It's just another way that homophobia manifests itself and it's very sad.

Love yall bishes 
 

[Spicechinodiva]

Several straight guys say the fa* word, then they see me and immediately apologize. It's an unfortunate natural habit for most Straight men to use that disgusting word. 

[Koda100]

The truth is that its the worst when we hear such remarks from family, friends and coworkers! But we live in a world that is a little bit more accepting than it was yesterday... and tomorrow will be even better. All we can do is be thick skinned and keep trying to represent ourselves as much more than a stereotype.  

[Blackout2006]

6 hours ago, iAlwaysSingLive said:

[BUWYGF]

On 8/29/2020 at 10:26 PM, Spicechinodiva said:

Well unfortunately I got outed by my uncle cos he found my stash of gay adult magazines, at that time we had our own Playboy's and hustler. So keep that in mind, sometimes an outing does happen as well. I was kicked out so I stayed with a friend who knew I was gay. I was out to my friends but not my family cos of the conservative right wing views. 

 

 

All this ******* and your uncle still having his nose up your business 

[No Seas Cortes]

Something about people on pride being clowns, I don't even remember, I'm lucky that my main family don't have a problem with that at all

[oznozl]

I definitely feel you. It's the worst feeling.

I haven't talked to my brother in years whom I have to live in the same house. He was teasing me with homophobic comments for a couple of years. He was being VERY abusive during that time. In August, he threatened me in front of my mother to tell my father that I'm gay. I didn't step back and owned up to myself. Although that pride felt good, the situation has awful effects on me. I don't know when he will get mad again and expose me to my parents. Now, I'm trying my best to move out and continue my life by myself.

[SlayOut]

It can be so rough sometimes.  I’m lucky to have come out to my parents who were/are supportive many years ago. But I’ve also had to deal with my own conflicted emotions about that support, which is hard to put into words. Basically, I appreciate their support, but sometimes find myself asking if it’s genuine because I took so long to feel comfortable coming out. Sometimes I wonder if they had signaled their support earlier, would I have been more comfortable coming out earlier or would it even have been a barrier? My dad was raised pretty conservative but has become more liberal as he’s aged, and my mom was raised pretty liberal and has gotten even more liberal as she’s aged. I know she had gay friends in her twenties, but they never were part of my childhood or growing up in general. Since my coming out, I feel like they’ve tricked themselves into thinking they were always supportive of me being gay, even before I said anything. And therefore, it’s my “fault” for coming out later since they were always supportive. But I never felt like I knew how they’d react… since I never got any indication about their level of support.

It’s all in the past so it’s not like I can change their actions or mine… but these thoughts run through my mind nonetheless.

 

[boyinthemirror]

Many of us hear remarks like this everyday... It doesn't matter the context, or if they're not directed towards us, I think it's always hurtful. This is why I think not even us part of this community should say these words because then homophobic people will use it as an argument to defend themselves... "If they can, why can't I?"  Even people who call themselves "open minded" use it and sometimes with mean intentions. I'm sick of it tbh.

[Spicechinodiva]

I disowned them.

 

It's 2021, you can make your own family..

 

There's my real family. 

 

Then there's my birth family. 

 

 

[Martini]

My father recently slapped and hit me and pulled my hair in front of a bunch of family members and then called me a *** and a queen. I don't even know what I did? I was socializing a lot and I guess he thought I seemed too gay 

 

[SlayOut]

18 hours ago, Martini said:

My father recently slapped and hit me and pulled my hair in front of a bunch of family members and then called me a *** and a queen. I don't even know what I did? I was socializing a lot and I guess he thought I seemed too gay 

 

Drop his location I wanna fight.

I’m so sorry you experienced this.  Sending a virtual gay hug from afar!

[briprin1]

I was lucky that my immediate family was not transphobic when I came out… everyone else was cut out.

to everyone with transphobic/homophobic family, exhale is your family now.

[jordeezy river red]

You know whats funny - me and my mom joke about it now. My brother used to always "become" what he saw on T.v. He would always put on costumes. I remember him putting on a wig and tying up his shirt and pretending to be Britney and my parents laughing. The difference between me and him was that he was a "typical" boy but I was more feminine and caring. If I had dressed as the girl, they would have been concerned. My brother even participated in a drag beauty contest in high school for a breast cancer charity and there were SERIOUS DRAG QUEENS in the show and my mom attended and throughout it was so fun. I think the biggest bias is against fem cis males tbh. I feel like even the LGBT has a bias against bottoms or fem cis guys. 

[BritneyWiki]

To be safe you can always wait to come out to them when you are no longer dependant on them for anything. Maybe after college? (Not sure if this applies to you but just general advice).

One day, you might be the one to change them so they do not speak like that again. But they clearly have no idea how much damage they might be doing. You never know who might be gay!

Sorry you are going through this. Try to have a few trustworthy friends that can support you as your "chosen family" 😀