Hearing Homophobic Remarks From Your Family Members

[Mercuryrising]

Ugh I’m so sorry. It’s frustrating!! 
 

I thought we have moved past this but clearly we haven’t. Idk the solution for the grand scheme of homophobia bc people ignore education on the subject.

 

but let me tell you this. My family was semi homophobic growing up and now completely support the LGBT community, even as conservatives. I do think the progress that we have made has been BECAUSE of situations like yours and mine. It’s all exposure. It seems weird until people know someone and then are forced to educate themselves/face the music.

 

my suggestion would be to come out slowly, maybe to your sister and then have her plant the idea perhaps before you come out to the rest of your family.

 

stay strong. Sending you all my love. We need people like you in this world. You will help others one day.

[TheySayImCrazy18]

Sorry To Hear That!   I Personally Do Not Care If Someone Makes A Homophobic Remark, I Think That’s There Opinion And I Respect That.  You Can’t Change How Someone Thinks, So I Don’t, Because They Have A Right To Think What They Wanna Think Just As Much As You Or I Do.  

[RadicalOptimism]

12 minutes ago, iAlwaysSingLive said:

Ugh, that's one of the most depressing parts about bigoted family members. It's like, I don't care what other people think, yet you, the people that are supposed to love and cherish me the most, care more about what other people might think than your own child. Get your priorities straight (no pun intended).  And the classic "women + women = good, but men + men = bad" thought process... That irks me so much, and it's pretty clear where that mindset comes from.  But it's better to be in a situation where your parents either just don't really get it, or they're just in the wrong and super dead set in their ways. At least, that's what your situation sounds like to me, so I'm pretty certain that it will just take some time.  I feel like my mom is in a similar boat (in the sense that she doesn't really understand it). I've heard her say, "I am fine with gay people as long as they don't touch little boys," which is absolutely dumb and ridiculous, but I understand that it comes from a place of confusion and not really having enough education on the matter. That makes me think that all it would take is a genuine and sincere conversation. 

And omg the gay people are perverted thoughts also need to stop. That’s like saying I’m ok with men and women as long as they don’t touch kids. I’m hopeful that in a few years people will be more open minded than they currently are about matters that don’t affect them personally 

[dr35]

Hey writer.... wish I had Advice to make it less painful. You have the right spirit and attitude about it, but it sucks to hear that garbage. I’ve been there. I will say this, after years I summoned the courage to tell my Mom I was over the comments, and she was receptive to it. Things have slowly started to get better. 

Not saying you should just jump and follow my lead.. each in there own time. I hope it all works out for you! 

[redacted statement]

16 minutes ago, CrazyButItFeelsAllright said:

And omg the gay people are perverted thoughts also need to stop. That’s like saying I’m ok with men and women as long as they don’t touch kids. I’m hopeful that in a few years people will be more open minded than they currently are about matters that don’t affect them personally 

I asked my sister, and it turns out that all my brother did was put on a pink shirt from her closet. 

[RadicalOptimism]

13 minutes ago, iAlwaysSingLive said:

I asked my sister, and it turns out that all my brother did was put on a pink shirt from her closet. 

Omg seriously? My older sister dressed my little brother up in makeup, pigtails and tied up shirt to recreate BOMT for everyone and he’s as straight as an arrow now 

[BUWYGF]

My dad used to say the worst things about gays.

They should be hung on the street

They should be burned alive

They are sick in the head

He would shoot them all

I still came out in the end not giving a **** about what he thinks or if he will kick me out. He accepted it in the end and he even adored my ex bf. So people change, especially when faced with the reality of what they think they hate

[Spicechinodiva]

Well unfortunately I got outed by my uncle cos he found my stash of gay adult magazines, at that time we had our own Playboy's and hustler. So keep that in mind, sometimes an outing does happen as well. I was kicked out so I stayed with a friend who knew I was gay. I was out to my friends but not my family cos of the conservative right wing views. 

 

 

[redacted statement]

11 minutes ago, Spicechinodiva said:

Well unfortunately I got outed by my uncle cos he found my stash of gay adult magazines, at that time we had our own Playboy's and hustler. So keep that in mind, sometimes an outing does happen as well. I was kicked out so I stayed with a friend who knew I was gay. I was out to my friends but not my family cos of the conservative right wing views. 

That sounds god awful. I can't even imagine... Sorry you had to go through that.  Have they come around, or are they not part of your life anymore?!  As for friends, yeah, pretty much all of them know. It's just the family situation that I need to sort out. 

[Spicechinodiva]

6 minutes ago, iAlwaysSingLive said:

That sounds god awful. I can't even imagine... Sorry you had to go through that.  Have they come around, or are they not part of your life anymore?!  As for friends, yeah, pretty much all of them know. It's just the family situation that I need to sort out. 

Not really, Only my liberal Aunt loves me. 

 

They really say very horrible things about trans people and it's sad. But since they are paying for the weekly dinner out (Before Covid) I would keep my mouth shut. 

[Adan695]

I’ve actually run into this issue lately with family members making transphobic remarks, not directly at me but insensitive jokes. It does hurt and make me angry but honestly I’m just at a point in my life where I’m done trying to convince people to understand/accept me and unfortunately I’m just going to have to distance myself from those individuals. It does suck but I just don’t have any place for that kind of negativity in my life anymore and It’s not even so much whether they accept me or not, it’s the lack of respect that I won’t tolerate any longer. 

[Lukas1896]

23 hours ago, iAlwaysSingLive said:

I recognize that it's him that has problems, not me. I mean, I won't hold a grudge, but since I don't know if he'll ever come around, he doesn't deserve my time of day for now. I refuse to go through the insane amount of fear, risk, anxiety and stress that accompanies coming out for some like him. Plus, this isn't the first time.

You're right. It's him that has problems - but it still is affecting you, and making you sad, anxious etc. I know were you're coming from. My family (and especially my parents) are very homophobic . I stopped even thinking about coming out because I know that I 100% would not be accepted by them  

That's why I just moved out from my family to the capital city of my country, and now I'm alone, working for a minimum wage, and barely making ends meet... ehh it all just sucks.

But we need to somehow hold on! and try to be strong and find our own happiness! We can't let those homophobes win and destroy us

[Sea flower]

I am so sorry to read that. Where i am from, LGBTQ+ community is very much supported. My dad never had a problem understanding transgender people but had a lot of prejudices regarding homosexuality. Some of my friends are gay and their families are supportive but at the beginning some parents didn't take it well, but because they were scared society will treat my friends bad or attack them.

Last year my parents and i flew to Madrid to attend a concert, the same week, by chance, it was pride week (which is a huge event in Madrid). I was not sure how my dad would react but in the end it was great, we enjoyed a lot and even went to the parade for a while. My dad saw first hand how his prejudices were unfounded.

Stay strong, societies change but unfortunately some times it requires a long time :/. I send you my best wishes to you!

[Midnight]

On 8/29/2020 at 12:12 PM, CrazyButItFeelsAllright said:

Yeah I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of coming out to my parents. They’re very traditional minded people and very into what others have to say. Well my dad is super religious and my moms the one that’s more worried about appearances. My sister has a girlfriend and they know and refer to her as “her roommate” or “her friend” but they always treat them the same. They’ve never treated them any differently. But what’s stopped me from coming out is that my dad has told me that women being with women is not as bad as men being with men and always talks about what the Bible says. I’ve gotten into it with him a few times about how hypocritical people pick and choose what verses they care so deeply about. I even told him why does everyone care SO DEEPLY about homosexuality yet it’s not even one of the Ten Commandments. Y’all should be more pressed at the lying and infidelity that’s rampant everywhere. I’ll eventually let them know as I’m sure they know already, but right now I’m more worried about other things than that. Hopefully when your time is right you get the love and support you deserve. I know my parents will still be there for me, but I need to work up to being 100% comfortable with doing so. It sucks to not be out to everyone and only half of the people close to me 

[britneysabs]

i'm so sorry to hear this. it's horrific that homophobia is still a thing.

i think people fear what they don't understand. that's obviously NOT an excuse but it's something that seems to have been drummed into your stepfather and has become ingrained, no questions asked. whether thats by his parents, or just society in general when he was growing up.

it's hard to even initiate a conversation with someone like that - because, if someone's willing to listen, talking things out can be a great educator/healer - but i can understand how awful that must be to have to deal with and i'm so sorry 

[Blackout2006]

Wait arent you a girl tho?

[Hooked-On-Knee]

4 hours ago, Blackout2006 said:

Wait arent you a girl tho?

Not you thinking almost every gay man on Exhale is a woman.

[Blackout2006]

40 minutes ago, Hooked-On-Knee said:

Not you thinking almost every gay man on Exhale is a woman.

But @iAlwaysSingLive gives such woman-vibes

[Hooked-On-Knee]

9 minutes ago, Blackout2006 said:

But @iAlwaysSingLive gives such woman-vibes

Are you talking about femininity or just them having the "vibes of a woman?

[DougFrmBrazil]

To all LGBTQI+ people: Just come out when you are financial independent from your family or provider. Then, nobody can have a say in your life.