How to cope with losing the one?

[BoyDeChanel]

In case anyone reads my situation, I would appreciate some advice on how to cope.

I met this special person in question more than 10 years ago and, although we did not hit it off immediately, we have been really close for about 8 years of that time. He became my best friend, confidante, lover, we had a special bond, he was the one for me. We made each other a better person, we made each other happy, we travelled together to different places. We were quite the opposites, but it was like we completed each other. He has told me on several occasions that I am the only one that understands him and only one he cares about. The way he looked at me was something out of this world. His bad side was his temper and impulsiveness, but he was working on it. He was the only one I have been intimate with and I cannot even imagine being intimate with someone else. He was into stuff which I would only do for him and no one else.

Then several months ago he shut me out of his life all of a sudden. He got progressively colder towards me and told me one day that he has changed a lot, he needs to get serious and needs to focus solely on himself without any distractions, even though he is very thankful he had me in his life.

I cannot figure out why and since then I have been very depressed, I miss him so much every day, I feel as if I have lost a big part of who I am, I no longer care about my goals in life, I don't see my future any more as he was a big part of it, everything fell apart, I feel empty inside and I hurt a lot.

I did try to reach him, but he was very cold towards me and seems to not care at all any more and it just hurts me even more.

 

If my feelings could be summed up in a playlist it would be:

Britney Spears - Heaven on Earth

Britney Spears - Exaholic

Rihanna - Rehab

Britney Spears - I Run Away

Britney Spears - Everytime

Olivia Rodrigo - drivers license

Mariah Carey - I Stay in Love

Mariah Carey - You're Mine

Selena Gomez - The Heart Wants What It Wants

Regard - You

Bebe Rexha - I'm a Mess

Lana Del Rey - Religion

Bonus:

Britney Spears - Touch of My Hand 

[No Seas Cortes]

You definitely deserve a bigger explanation why. It's a horrible thing to just break up with someone like that. Trust me, it's painful for him too. It always it. It's not like you break up with someone you had really long time in your life and you move on quickly. I'm pretty sure he struggles the same way you do right now. 

Remember that he has NEVER been a part of you. You are your own person. Always. You can't really stop being sad about it that quickly, it takes time and it's okay. I've been there too. Broken heart can be extremely painful but you will overcome it, I'm sure. I had my heart broken million times and look at me now, I'm fine  I think it'd be the best for you to find some therapist. It's really good to just have a talk with an extremely smart person that gives you a new perspective. I think it's worth it but you have to make this decision. Things get better, I promise.

You can always talk to me here if you want to  I wish you the best 

[BoyDeChanel]

17 hours ago, The One and Only said:

You definitely deserve a bigger explanation why. It's a horrible thing to just break up with someone like that. Trust me, it's painful for him too. It always it. It's not like you break up with someone you had really long time in your life and you move on quickly. I'm pretty sure he struggles the same way you do right now. 

Remember that he has NEVER been a part of you. You are your own person. Always. You can't really stop being sad about it that quickly, it takes time and it's okay. I've been there too. Broken heart can be extremely painful but you will overcome it, I'm sure. I had my heart broken million times and look at me now, I'm fine  I think it'd be the best for you to find some therapist. It's really good to just have a talk with an extremely smart person that gives you a new perspective. I think it's worth it but you have to make this decision. Things get better, I promise.

You can always talk to me here if you want to  I wish you the best 

Thank you for this 

[MARKUS]

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[BoyDeChanel]

22 hours ago, MARKUS said:

Sorry didnt read the threat cause the title is in contrary with itself - if they were THE ONE, they wouldn't have been lost. NEXT

Except you can actually lose the one person you have a special bond or connection with and then never establish the same bond ever again with another

[MARKUS]

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[Urbanney]

5 minutes ago, MARKUS said:

OK then maybe change your attitude.

This post is rude and lacking in empathy. Losing someone you love, no matter the circumstance or reason it happens, can be incredibly difficult to cope with. It’s not likely that you’re going to be able to just change your attitude about something like that.

[BoyDeChanel]

4 minutes ago, MARKUS said:

OK then maybe change your attitude.

I already tried that but to no avail, then I gave up and am ok with being alone most of the time, but I have bad days / weeks and needed a place to vent without being judged

[MARKUS]

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[MARKUS]

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[MARKUS]

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[Urbanney]

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. I can’t imagine the closest person to you and the person you love most just leaving you out of nowhere after 10 years. That has to be really hard.

The biggest thing that helps me cope in situations like this is focusing on self-care and self-improvement. Listen to what your mind, body, and emotions are telling you. Sometimes, you will need to stay in and be alone to just process your thoughts and emotions. Other times, you will want to be around the comfort and fun of your friends and family. Try finding an outlet for your emotions, like exercise (good for mental and physical health) or putting it into art. Maybe try escaping into a book, movie, or series. Try out new hobbies, activities, and events. Try meeting new people. Catch up with friends/family in your life that you haven’t talked to in a while.

Here are some ideas - sorry some of these seem to be targeted for kids, but you get the idea:

Take each day at a time and just focus on doing things that are good for you and that will make you happier over time. Wishing you the best of luck and sending lots of love and warmth your way @BoyDeChanel  

[No Seas Cortes]

18 minutes ago, Urbanney said:

• Watch Britney's interviews from early 2000s cause there clearly was something so amazing about her that can literally make everyone's day brighter  

[RadicalOptimism]

52 minutes ago, Urbanney said:

This post is rude and lacking in empathy. Losing someone you love, no matter the circumstance or reason it happens, can be incredibly difficult to cope with. It’s not likely that you’re going to be able to just change your attitude about something like that.

I had my finger on the quote until I decided to keep scrolling and glad you called it out 

[rik]

2 minutes ago, CrazyButItFeelsAllright said:

I had my finger on the quote until I decided to keep scrolling and glad you called it out 

Legit same 

[RadicalOptimism]

Like Sheryl Crow said, “the first cut is the deepest.” I understand the pain you’re going through and as cliché as it sounds, it will get better. It won’t get better soon, but you’ll know when it does and you’ll reflect on the past when you find your new future. You’ll never forget them and will be able to recall the fond memories, but your new person will make the past ones your past. I’ve experienced something similar so that’s why I’m saying this. At the time it feels like it’s the end of the world and being in constant depression, but what I can say is please don’t give up on your goals. Seek out help from your loved ones who will help you get through this. And if that doesn’t work you have an online community here who would be more than happy to be here to lend an ear 

[Annabanana]

I would go no contact and focus on yourself. Don't look at their social media either, trust me, this will only make it worse for you. 

[JoJo Online]

I don’t have much to say except I am so sorry for your loss! 💗 

[BoyDeChanel]

43 minutes ago, CrazyButItFeelsAllright said:

Like Sheryl Crow said, “the first cut is the deepest.” I understand the pain you’re going through and as cliché as it sounds, it will get better. It won’t get better soon, but you’ll know when it does and you’ll reflect on the past when you find your new future. You’ll never forget them and will be able to recall the fond memories, but your new person will make the past ones your past. I’ve experienced something similar so that’s why I’m saying this. At the time it feels like it’s the end of the world and being in constant depression, but what I can say is please don’t give up on your goals. Seek out help from your loved ones who will help you get through this. And if that doesn’t work you have an online community here who would be more than happy to be here to lend an ear 

Thank you all for kind words, it means a lot, because I have no one to speak to about this topic, not my family, nor my friends.

I wish it was easier to find a new person, but it's not, it's been so long, where are they? 

[boyinthemirror]

I know how it feels like to lose someone but not someone THIS important, that has shaped so much of what you consider you are. I have no words but I feel so much pain in your post. I hope time allows you to cope with the loss, maybe you'll never "get over it" just like that, but hopefully you'll get used to live without him. Sending so much love your way