Why does family abandon you when you need them?

[The Pink Sheep]

I don't understand how any family member whether it's a brother, SISTER, COUSIN, aunts, UNCLES or whoever else.... 

You don't deny your family when they literally have NOTHING and have had such a difficult life...

It hurts when you feel so ******* alienated by them...

They hear me but they don't care....

And people wonder why I drink or do *****... I'm hurting... I have nobody... even my best friend Jade we fight and we make up always but even she is denying helping me with a place to live so I can get back to working again..

All anyone ever tells me is go to rehab or go to a church program... therapy and those programs can be very traumatic... I've had bad experiences just because I'm openly gay. 

Does anyone relate in any way? Any advice? 

We all need someone. We all just want to be seen, heard, and accepted. 

Discuss

[rennen2.0]

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, Jay. 

It's horrible the way your family have treated you, but try and use that as a reason to succeed. Show them you don't need them. Show them you can better yourself without them. And show them it's their loss, not yours. 

In order to better yourself, a rehab or treatment program might be your best option. It may not be the route you want to go down, for reasons I understand, but it will at least give you food and shelter temporarily until you figure things out. Use it as a stepping stone. Unfortunately at the moment it appears to be your only option.

[DollyParton]

32 minutes ago, rennen2.0 said:

 

It's horrible the way your family have treated you, but try and use that as a reason to succeed. Show them you don't need them. Show them you can better yourself without them. And show them it's their loss, not yours. 

 

This! When I was struggling with addiction this was the mindset that really helped me.

[DollyParton]

13 hours ago, JayTawndre said:

 

They hear me but they don't care....

And people wonder why I drink or do *****... I'm hurting... I have nobody... even my best friend Jade we fight and we make up always but even she is denying helping me with a place to live so I can get back to working again..

 

And sis, forgive me, i dont know your story and dont wanna be rude. But i know addiction and i know this:

 

there is a reason they dont wanna be involved with you anymore. You’re addicted and all you do is hurting them with lies, lies and more nasty betrayal. I did the same damn thing. You’re not only destroying yourself, but also the people close around you and at some point they reaching a point where they have enough and they realize they simply cant help you no more. And its hard to say, you cant blame them. There are people struggling with addiction who did some really nasty stuff to people who they love most. Think about how they would feel about you.
 

As Tyra would say: take some responsibility for yourself. Stop fooling yourself, cause thats what you’re doing. STOP playing the victim, take controll and get rid of that freaking nasty beast inside your head, called addiction. You dont need anybody, you need YOURSELF. Find that strength and you will win this fight. When you prove you getting better, people will come back. If not, **** them! People who ‘defeated’ addiction are the strongest people i have ever met, you can be one of them. 
 

Go back to rehab and fix yourself.

 

 

[The Pink Sheep]

2 hours ago, DollyParton said:

And sis, forgive me, i dont know your story and dont wanna be rude. But i know addiction and i know this:

 

there is a reason they dont wanna be involved with you anymore. You’re addicted and all you do is hurting them with lies, lies and more nasty betrayal. I did the same damn thing. You’re not only destroying yourself, but also the people close around you and at some point they reaching a point where they have enough and they realize they simply cant help you no more. And its hard to say, you cant blame them. There are people struggling with addiction who did some really nasty stuff to people who they love most. Think about how they would feel about you.
 

As Tyra would say: take some responsibility for yourself. Stop fooling yourself, cause thats what you’re doing. STOP playing the victim, take controll and get rid of that freaking nasty beast inside your head, called addiction. You dont need anybody, you need YOURSELF. Find that strength and you will win this fight. When you prove you getting better, people will come back. If not, **** them! People who ‘defeated’ addiction are the strongest people i have ever met, you can be one of them. 
 

Go back to rehab and fix yourself.

 

 

I am doing a statement. Whether people think I should or not. The worse thing is if I die in my addiction and my voice and story is not heard. I've wanted to be in the entertainment industry since I was 7... 

[The Pink Sheep]

On 4/19/2022 at 1:49 PM, rennen2.0 said:

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, Jay. 

It's horrible the way your family have treated you, but try and use that as a reason to succeed. Show them you don't need them. Show them you can better yourself without them. And show them it's their loss, not yours. 

In order to better yourself, a rehab or treatment program might be your best option. It may not be the route you want to go down, for reasons I understand, but it will at least give you food and shelter temporarily until you figure things out. Use it as a stepping stone. Unfortunately at the moment it appears to be your only option.

I'm gonna respond to ur DM very soon 

[SlayOut]

Like @rennen2.0, I wish I could be of more assistance. I’m sorry you have no support from your family, and that there may be some tensions in your other support networks right now.

I know that you’ve had bad experiences with the rehab program you’ve attended and had the bad experience with that church group, if I’m remembering correctly. But just know that there are other resources out there that may actually assist you. And will actually be there for you. Those places you’ve been before are not representative of the many other places that may offer you some concrete help. I know that’s easy for me to say, since I haven’t walked in your shoes (or platform high heels, let’s be real ), but I still think there is some truth to it.

I’m not sure if there is anyone in your life that can help you research other programs or other forms of assistance, but that may be a helpful place to start. I know this sounds odd, but there may be resources at your local library, if you have one in your community.

[The Pink Sheep]

I just want to be seen and heard by my family and it hurts so much... I feel so ******* alone.... it hurts...

[The Pink Sheep]

 

[Spicechinodiva]

20 hours ago, JayTawndre said:

I don't understand how any family member whether it's a brother, SISTER, COUSIN, aunts, UNCLES or whoever else.... 

You don't deny your family when they literally have NOTHING and have had such a difficult life...

It hurts when you feel so ******* alienated by them...

They hear me but they don't care....

And people wonder why I drink or do *****... I'm hurting... I have nobody... even my best friend Jade we fight and we make up always but even she is denying helping me with a place to live so I can get back to working again..

All anyone ever tells me is go to rehab or go to a church program... therapy and those programs can be very traumatic... I've had bad experiences just because I'm openly gay. 

Does anyone relate in any way? Any advice? 

We all need someone. We all just want to be seen, heard, and accepted. 

Discuss

I actually made my own family, just because it's blood doesn't make it family. 

 

It's 2022, you can make your own family. I cut mine out except for my aunt and my grandfather. 

 

The other's who didn't understand me, the gayness or like my stand outish behavior doesn't go away.

 

Invite me to a wedding I'm gonna look like my best, Its not my fault i can match everything and pull it off and still look better than the bride and the groom..

 

It sounds like it's them not you sweetheart.  

 

If they are alienating you, Leave them. Find you own family, and happiness..

[The Pink Sheep]

32 minutes ago, Spicechinodiva said:

I actually made my own family, just because it's blood doesn't make it family. 

 

It's 2022, you can make your own family. I cut mine out except for my aunt and my grandfather. 

 

The other's who didn't understand me, the gayness or like my stand outish behavior doesn't go away.

 

Invite me to a wedding I'm gonna look like my best, Its not my fault i can match everything and pull it off and still look better than the bride and the groom..

 

It sounds like it's them not you sweetheart.  

 

If they are alienating you, Leave them. Find you own family, and happiness..

Wow this is literally all my thoughts right now and I didn't expect you to comment. This means so much

[TommyX]

Because family isn’t a one way street. 

[The Pink Sheep]

2 minutes ago, TommyX said:

Because family isn’t a one way street. 

Literally 

[Urbanney]

[Niaraley]

I'm really sorry that you can't count on your family, it's really hard when your not on good terms. I can relate to you because for one year I didn't talk to one of my sisters, fortunately we are on good terms now and it's also been almost a year since I last talked with my father. Families are complicated but you have the right to have a decent family, it's so infuriating. You need to focus on yourself as for now, at the end of the day, we only need ourselves. I hope in the future, you can be understood by your relatives but even if it's not the case, you will be fine without them 🙏😢💖

[The Pink Sheep]

22 minutes ago, Niaraley said:

I'm really sorry that you can't count on your family, it's really hard when your not on good terms. I can relate to you because for one year I didn't talk to one of my sisters, fortunately we are on good terms now and it's also been almost a year since I last talked with my father. Families are complicated but you have the right to have a decent family, it's so infuriating. You need to focus on yourself as for now, at the end of the day, we only need ourselves. I hope in the future, you can be understood by your relatives but even if it's not the case, you will be fine without them 🙏😢💖

Thanks for these kind words. It's so hard. I just want my family to accept me

[The Pink Sheep]

31 minutes ago, Urbanney said:

[Niaraley]

6 hours ago, JayTawndre said:

Thanks for these kind words. It's so hard. I just want my family to accept me

It's so sad, I also wish this for you 😩😥

[JP9101]

Please, go and find some help. It is ok, and ***** are not the way. Don’t be a victim, be brave and start to contact different genuine sources. Don’t go to parties. Avoid these environments right now. And maybe stop worrying about this place, our opinions and Britney. First, get better. I don’t understand completely because I have never been in your shoes (I don’t drink nor smoke), but I think you need some help and professional help. You will be ok if you stop consuming ***** and start to take care of yourself. 
 

Hugs, and please be brave, get things done, and start by seeking help. Make a to-do list, set goals and stop partying and consuming *****. Also, you don’t need attention nor be popular anywhere. You, my friend, need to start loving yourself.

[Alexanda]

6 hours ago, JayTawndre said:

Thanks for these kind words. It's so hard. I just want my family to accept me

I don't know your fullstory, but all i know is: You need to accept yourself first! 

And no, you won't die, don't even think about that. 

But therapy is the first step, in a different place obviously. 

The motivation should be there. 

No one gets the help just because they are in therapy, you need to get involved and you can do it! 

it's time for you to give it another shot. 

Nobody can tell you, that the future will be alright, but you are not a victim, you have all the possible choices. But you need to go on your way. 

Nothing will happen otherwise... 

Just to give you another perspective: Do you think your mum wants to see you suffer? 

Go and change your life!