Lost in my feelings (help)

[ExXL]

On 6/23/2020 at 10:40 PM, brycetippe said:

 

 

 

Sorry for quoting your reply again, I tried removing the quote endlessly but I couldn't figure out how to do so ...... anyways I invited him to eat ice cream tomorrow we'll see how it turns out  

[mihai.serban]

1 minute ago, ExXL said:

Sorry for quoting your reply again, I tried removing the quote endlessly but I couldn't figure out how to do so ...... anyways I invited him to eat ice cream tomorrow we'll see how it turns out  

Good luck! Just don't be ashamed of your feelings 

[bas che]

Maybe to him monogamy is not the way to go.

Maybe he likes the fact that he has so many options and not yet happy to settle... yet. Best to confront him about it or just let it flow naturally. You should be able to tell more than everyone else in this forum. 

[bas che]

Monogamy *

[ExXL]

34 minutes ago, bas che said:

Maybe to him monogamy is not the way to go.

Maybe he likes the fact that he has so many options and not yet happy to settle... yet. Best to confront him about it or just let it flow naturally. You should be able to tell more than everyone else in this forum. 

Like I mentioned , it doesn't have to turn into a monogamous relationship or a relationship at all.... I just wanna know if he feels anything for me ,or if he has similar feelings so I know I'm not wasting my time and giving so much from myself to someone who's seeing me only as *** basically......  I really like him and if he doesn't feel the same way unfortunately I can't afford seeing him anymore as it costs me a lot of emotions and painful thoughts , I usually don't have that problem with hookups but well it happened , and he made it easier by flirting , tickling , stroking , and hugging as if I was his damn girlfriend lol , I don't know about y'all but the average guy I hookup with only has *** with me and sometimes cuddle with me a little bit in bed afterwards, but this goes beyond .....

[theannehedonia]

57 minutes ago, ExXL said:

Sorry for quoting your reply again, I tried removing the quote endlessly but I couldn't figure out how to do so ...... anyways I invited him to eat ice cream tomorrow we'll see how it turns out  

Good luck. I won't blame you if you eat the iced cream off of his abs. 

On a serious note, I seriously hope things go well. <3 

[bitbitboi]

We are a unit of body, mind, and soul... Meaning, no one can have s ex with other(s) and ignore their feelings (you can pretend you do, but let's talk about your mental health years later...). This is dangerous territory, and almost every gay guy has experienced it at least once. You have to be mature and choose one or the other. Just bare in mind one thing: if you do choose to keep seeing him just to get good d and some nice intimate time but at the expense of your feelings and mental health, then you have to know that, simultaneously, YOU ARE BLOCKING THE GOOD GUYS/GIRLS from your life. You are not making space for the good stuff, because your head (and body) is occupied somewhere else, with a bum, basically.

 

[jms910]

So many guys want to have it both ways. The ****boys and that one love. At the same time. No honey! If he likes you bUt is ******* around, he doesn’t like you enough. Decide what you want. Find out what he wants. Ask yourself what is worth it for you to deal with/not deal with keeping in mind future consequences- and then act accordingly. Above all, as most said, respect yourself! Do not put yourself through undue manipulation and game playing. Good luck!💗💜💜💗

[ExXL]

Update : so today we were supposed to meet for an ice cream but he had an important meeting at work and contacted me too late , even I was a little disappointed I couldn't be mad , especially when I really need him beside me, so he came to me and we talked shortly about our weeks , he said we could go to grab a drink sometime and I said ok , we moved on to do our thing.... (Which is why we still see each other) and then at the end I finally got to ask him if he does the thing he does with me with others as well.....and he told me that he rarely kisses in hookups or cuddles , which made me feel kinda relieved ,I did tell him twice that he is special to me and that I feel something to him that I don't feel for anyone, and he knows it , he knows what he has to know and I know he is just looking for friends with benefits, which I'm okay with for now , maybe I need some time and it'll change soon,but for now I'm content and I can accept that even tho I think about him everyday, so thank you guys sooooo much for helping me, you all are wonderful beings and I'm wishing us all love and happiness with or without men in our lives  

 

[ExXL]

10 minutes ago, Dirk said:

 

That's cool, I've in this type of relationship too, my advice to you is... low your expectations and just be in the moment, don't worry much.

Yes. Thanks ❤️ I am trying not to lose my mind, it's so much easier for us bottoms to fall  and get attached to a good hetero like top who is well packed  and doing an amazing job during *** , not to mention the after care and how attractive he is...... But on top of that , we have to remember that we are worthy and deserving . I've accepted reality and I made peace with it. 

[OnlyBeyonce]

Don't make the same mistakes that Britney has done with Kevin. Save yourself if it's necessary

 

[Thelegendarybritney]

On 6/22/2020 at 4:35 PM, ExXL said:

 

 .  

If you think that he is acting kinda toxic then i suggest you guys have a serious conversation because the longer he leads you on, the worse it is going to hurt. You deserve the best and i hope you find your answer to this situation 

[monkeystar88]

I'd say tell him  how you feel. you're only breaking your own heart by continuing unless you can truly put your feelings aside. I think a lot of times we don't say how we feel and guys are not mind readers.  

[ExXL]

I had to come back here because it's been a while now and we still talk, we're in a different place now and things are going well, we ate at a restaurant once and watched a football game in a bar, and we're not a couple but we have a special friendship and I'm fine with it, he is very special to me and I'm so thankful for you guys you helped me to get through that phase..... I'm so happy I'm not consumed with this matter anymore tho 😅

[Britney'sBish]

Ah yes, the smitten heartbreak.

 

I see a lot of people playing the tell him how you feel card, but it's actually something people almost never do because it almost never works.

 

What you really need to do is dig deep within yourself and ask what you really want from him.

Then you need to ask YOURSELF if that is something he can actually give you?

 

If you know that he's just going to be out there sleeping around and you can't be ok with that or do the same, then you need to let it go because it's only going to tear you up.

 

Based off what you're saying, it sounds like you guys are just having comfortable casual ***? 

I get affectionate with my hookups just because it feels good. After my 5 year relationship blew up I know that I don't really want to date anyone, is he in that same boat?

 

 

[Britney'sBish]

32 minutes ago, ExXL said:

I had to come back here because it's been a while now and we still talk, we're in a different place now and things are going well, we ate at a restaurant once and watched a football game in a bar, and we're not a couple but we have a special friendship and I'm fine with it, he is very special to me and I'm so thankful for you guys you helped me to get through that phase..... I'm so happy I'm not consumed with this matter anymore tho 😅

Whoops didn't realize this was an older thread that got bumped, glad you're doing better.

[ExXL]

49 minutes ago, Britney'sBish said:

Ah yes, the smitten heartbreak.

 

I see a lot of people playing the tell him how you feel card, but it's actually something people almost never do because it almost never works.

 

What you really need to do is dig deep within yourself and ask what you really want from him.

Then you need to ask YOURSELF if that is something he can actually give you?

 

If you know that he's just going to be out there sleeping around and you can't be ok with that or do the same, then you need to let it go because it's only going to tear you up.

 

Based off what you're saying, it sounds like you guys are just having comfortable casual ***? 

I get affectionate with my hookups just because it feels good. After my 5 year relationship blew up I know that I don't really want to date anyone, is he in that same boat?

 

 

No, he is just in the closet, he has never been with a guy officially and he Loves s3x more than the average person, he needs it all the time so I'm not even going to try and get myself in a relationship with him, because it's not gonna work, but we do like each other and I feel like I'm also a bit special to him like he is to me, anyways, he is complicated and I accept him the way he is because when we are together I feel like I can trust him and we have amazing chemistry. We talk about many subjects, and we have a lot of fun even if we just hang out like friends So I just hope we will stay in touch for long-term..... Doesn't matter to me if it's for *** or friendship.... And Most importantly I managed to control my feelings... 😊

[Britney'sBish]

9 hours ago, ExXL said:

No, he is just in the closet, he has never been with a guy officially and he Loves s3x more than the average person, he needs it all the time so I'm not even going to try and get myself in a relationship with him, because it's not gonna work, but we do like each other and I feel like I'm also a bit special to him like he is to me, anyways, he is complicated and I accept him the way he is because when we are together I feel like I can trust him and we have amazing chemistry. We talk about many subjects, and we have a lot of fun even if we just hang out like friends So I just hope we will stay in touch for long-term..... Doesn't matter to me if it's for *** or friendship.... And Most importantly I managed to control my feelings... 😊

That's what's important!

[Arianna]

Know your worth bb.

i have let things like that go on for YEARS and it only gets harder and harder, if it’s not too late stay guarded! If you are not on the same page and he is not looking what you are looking for right now- don’t hang on. It will just hurt more and more. 
 

You teach people how to treat you. What you allow is what will continue. You deserve reciprocated love & effort. HUGSSSS!

 

Edit: this is extra late on my part- sorry.