Y'all, Was I An A-Hole For This?

[BrittonJeanSpears]

So I'm scrolling through Reddit, bbq sauce on my cookies, minding my own business when the message below pops up.

So at first I'm like WTF? Why is this random straight dude messaging me? Lemme see what he wants. (Blocked out our usernames and my personal info because duh, but y'all can have his IDC.)

And y'all, he immediately contradicts himself. If him randomly messaging me without being prompted to was the first red flag, the following was the second.

If you're straight, a) why do you care what I'm more into and b) why are you calling me handsome (mind you, I have NEVER posted a picture of myself on Reddit. Hell, I've been on Exhale for 7 years and outside of the dozens of Exhalers who follow me on my Instagram, I've posted maybe three pictures of myself here as well.)

Notice how I completely ignore his squicky compliment. Now I'm just trying to find out how the heck I got on this dude's radar. (At this point, I realized the dude's account was only a month old with less than 100 posts. MAJOR RED FLAG.)

And y'all, the following message PISSED. ME. OFF.

EXCUSE. THE ****. OUT OF ME?! You're "straight" and "taken", yet you're hitting on me, implying that if I'm "a nice guy", we'll see where it could go, and then you're asking me for my personal information and for pictures within 20 minutes of first contacting me?!  Also, what part of "I am not single, it's complicated" did you not understand?

These messages made my skin crawl and raised so many red flags. I shut him down HARD after a few hours of leaving him on read, after deciding against ghosting him.

Immediately after sending this message, I decided to snoop around his profile. This "straight" dude has been hitting on gay men and crossdressers for the past month. Major creep vibes, major predator vibes, major queerbaiter vibes.  

Here's the full conversation in case you wanted to see it.

Guys like this piss me off because if I was younger, or hell, if I wasn't actively pursuing someone right now, I might've fallen for whatever scam this creep is trying to pull.

But I am not a homewrecker, so go back to your girlfriend. I am not a straight chaser, so go eat some puss-puss and leave me alone. I don't mess with middle-aged DL closet cases because I actually love myself. And I sure as hell am not giving out my phone number to some rando on the internet after 20 minutes. I didn't even do that on dating apps.

Was I too harsh, y'all?

[BrittonJeanSpears]

Taking a page from @rik's book, I'm gonna tag everyone I've been seeing recently to make sure this doesn't flop.

@AmorProhibido @DignifiedLove @Roxxy

[Roxxy]

Ok first of all I literally LOL-ed at the tag. 

And omg you are so funny i can't i was laughing the whole time reading your post it's like i'm hearing you talk.  and I think you did the right thing. That's not exactly how I would do it but it is what it is and he needed to be shut down. I don't think you were that harsh. Atleast you were still nice and kept your cool.

What you did was admirable and shows you have self respect. Legends only.  

[IUSAtonight]

Well, what else can you say, when you don't want to exchange numbers with someone? I guess you could find an excuse but I don't see the point. You were clear and honest.

Also, I must have less than 100 posts on Reddit and my account is almost a year old. Why is that weird? 

[AmorProhibido]

Okay you were most definitely NOT the *******. Like, at all. You did the right thing and I applaud you for it. Honestly, I've gotten myself into trouble with these kind of situations. I was madly, and I mean madly in love with a girl for 2 years who swore up and down that she was straight and yet we would hang out, hook up, etc. It didn't end very well for either one of us and if I could go back and make it so that I never pursued her, I would. So yeah, you did the smart thing. This guy definitely sounds creepy af and queerbaiting is not cool. 

[BrittonJeanSpears]

Just now, IUSAtonight said:

Well, what else can you say, when you don't want to exchange numbers with someone? I guess you could find an excuse but I don't see the point. You were clear and honest.

Also, I must have less than 100 posts on Reddit and my account is almost a year old. Why is that weird? 

If the account is new AND has a low number of interactions, it implies the account is a burner account, something easily disposable and untraceable.  It'd be different if he had a handful of comments and had been on Reddit for 5 years.

5 minutes ago, rik said:

oh ok so i'm in a very very similar situation except i haven't talked to the straight guy who queer baited me (i definitely entertained it and wanted it too and we never did anything physical no did we speak on how i felt for him or vice versa). he was in a long distance relationship. it's difficult and he would send me cute things like changing my name as a google translate language and translating 'i hate u' (which i said to him) to 'i love you' when translated to english. weird photoshop ****. anyway we'd call each other cute and adorable and it was a lot. it's a lot but i'm kind of trying to move on 

he's such a wannabe rockstar only when it comes to his interactions with me lol

anyway fred durst

so ya i am not exactly sure what i'm looking at but good on you for resisting this scam! How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Also ya i am GLAD YOU DIDNT GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER. definitely a potential scam and i also wonder why he wanted this, like it's not like you guys were in proximity to one another. additionally he's usng reddit like it's craigslist 

i don't think you're an *** hole? you're just cautious and protecting yourself from weirdos on the internet

Straight boys need to go away and leave us alone.  Anyways, I love Indian guys and I could definitely take advantage of Canada's free healthcare. So if you want some Puerto Rican spice in your life, hit me up. I'll move instantly. 

[Itscuzim31]

Girl, just bl0w him 

[PokemonSpears]

some people just clearly have a lot of free time lol 

[Urbanney]

A guy who DMs guys isn’t straight. Periodt. 
 

Also, never feel guilty for trusting your gut instinct. You need to be polite to people that put you in situations that make you uncomfortable. 

[ILikeChillinWithYou]

Sis you did the right thing now don't overthink