Your coming out experience

[Slayer]

Hey everyone,

As it is Pride month I thought i'd make a thread for people discuss their experiences 'coming out'!

I also thought it may help people others who have not came out yet.

So if you're comfortable feel free to share your coming out experience.

Are you comfortable with your ***uality now?

[Gayseus911]

I came out to my phobic family like

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[severusvape]

I was 14 when I came out to my mom. I’m male and gay. She already knew and had this feeling so it wasn’t a shock. After it she said: ‘I don’t care, now you can be yourself and live a happy life’. I’m 28 now. I feel comfortable now, but back then not so much. I used to be bullied for 4 years at high school. Not going too far into that but I feel happy now with what I am. I only have people around me who support it. I cut off contact with most of my family because they didn’t, and that felt right. I choose my own family now, which is my mom and my friends. 

[Slayer]

4 minutes ago, rck92 said:

I was 14 when I came out to my mom. I’m male and gay. She already knew and had this feeling so it wasn’t a shock. After it she said: ‘I don’t care, now you can be yourself and live a happy life’. I’m 28 now. I feel comfortable now, but back then not so much. I used to be bullied for 4 years at high school. Not going too far into that but I feel happy now with what I am. I only have people around me who support it. I cut off contact with most of my family because they didn’t, and that felt right. I choose my own family now, which is my mom and my friends. 

I'm really happy to hear your mom was supportive! So sorry about what you went through at school, however i'm really glad you're happy now! 

[severusvape]

3 minutes ago, Slayer said:

I'm really happy to hear your mom was supportive! So sorry about what you went through at school, however i'm really glad you're happy now! 

Thank you! That’s sweet.

[kfitz421]

When I was 19 I had a photo taken of me with a guy that was posted on FB with me tagged in it, so the whole fam saw.

 

I was already out to my friends and sister but not whole fam. My mom took it extremely personally that she wasn’t the absolute 1st to know and thus made the whole experience about herself.

My parents are divorced and I had a bad past with my homophobic dad so I just didn’t tell him, but my step mom and sister decided to out me to my dad since it was on FB. They told him and he decided that I was dead in his mind and we haven’t spoken for 10 years now.

It def was not a good experience at all because my parents made it all about them and I was left to struggle with exile (hey TAY) from my dad on my own.

my fam now pretends that nothing happened between me and my dad and they talk about him as if nothing ever happened which really stresses me out. They made it like it’s some problem that I need to fix between he and I. 
 

Anywho! It was rough and it really sucked and I am still recovering from it to today - buttttt what has been nice is I’m married, happy, have a house in LA (well Reseda but whatever 😂) and my success is just my own special way to say FU to my dad 💅

[Look But Don't Touch]

I got caught watching gay p rn when I was like 12 

I regret nothing 

Really deep and inspiring coming out story 

[Zeke]

I came out to my family when I was 21 and it was... well, a mess.  Still is.

Things have improved but their support is out of the picture. Be it (as long as you act as 'straight' as possible) but don't act upon it.

I'm 34 now.

 

[Hooked-On-Knee]

Actually, as a kid I always thought everyone in this world was bi. So I didn't actually ever feel the need to come out because I just thought we were all the same even though I knew words like, "gay", "straight", etc, were and I knew what they meant, I just thought they were like to describe hypothetical situations. Then one of my friends talked about how she was only interested in people of the male gender, I said, "I think I like both boys and girls?", and she was like, "ew!".

That was 3 years ago when I was 10. I realized I was gay a few months after that initial incident and have never looked back.

My family are okay with it. I think my dad is bi but because of things with his home country, he learned to, "hide", it back when he was a teen living there and has never brought it up. My mom is supportive about it despite being from a conservative household because she works in an industry where LGBT people are very prominently working in so she's gotten to disillusion herself from any beliefs that were instilled in her as a kid, and my sister is supportive but jokes about it a lot.

[SloppyToppyGoddess]

When I was in 6th grade, I was caught by a school faculty member giving two 8th graders head and we all got in trouble and they told our parents. My parents made me do therapy for like 5 years and I was DL the whole time. I eventually confirmed to my mom I'm gay but we never talk about any of it. My parents still will make remarks about me one day marrying a woman...its annoying.

I checked up on the two guys I was blowing and one of the guys now has a boyfriend while the other is married with a wife and kids.

 

[Look But Don't Touch]

8 minutes ago, SloppyToppyGoddess said:

When I was in 6th grade, I was caught by a school faculty member giving two 8th graders head and we all got in trouble and they told our parents. My parents made me do therapy for like 5 years and I was DL the whole time. I eventually confirmed to my mom I'm gay but we never talk about any of it. My parents still will make remarks about me one day marrying a woman...its annoying.

I checked up on the two guys I was blowing and one of the guys now has a boyfriend while the other is married with a wife and kids.

 

Ohh this reminded me that I also was caught doing things with a cousin my age when we were wayyy too young 

Like whole family found out (probably even grandma ) and it was... weird  

Not the best moment of my life 

[SloppyToppyGoddess]

4 minutes ago, Look But Don't Touch said:

Ohh this reminded me that I also was caught doing things with a cousin my age when we were wayyy too young 

Like whole family found out (probably even grandma ) and it was... weird  

Not the best moment of my life 

 omg! How old were you? Was that your coming out or did the family just think it was a phase? Did u and your cousin still continue your affair after? 

[Look But Don't Touch]

7 minutes ago, SloppyToppyGoddess said:

 omg! How old were you? Was that your coming out or did the family just think it was a phase? Did u and your cousin still continue your affair after? 

We were like 7  Me and my fam have never talked about it for obvious reason  And it was really long time ago so I don't know their thoughts but they & uncle and aunt were angry  

No, I haven't talked to him in years and I don't want to as he's extremely annoying, ugly and into that political side that is anti-LGBT   I've never found him attractive and I want to throw up when I think about it  I have no idea why we were doing this  Probably because of curiosity. So embarrassing  

[Britney'sBish]

I was so obviously gay my whole life, but because of my strict baptist upbringing I was terrified of coming out.

When I was 12 my Mom said to me, "You can be anything you want in the world, just don't be gay".

That's the kind of thing that just sticks with you and makes things difficult.

Luckily my Dad always knew and was supportive. When I came out in my twenties my Mom told me that when I was in high school that he told her, "When do you think he's gonna come out" and she told him, "don't you say that".

So things with my Dad are great, it's hard not to be resentful of my Mom because she just acts like she's ok with it.

 

I also got caught watching gay **** when I was like 9, they were at church and I was sick at home. So they pull in the driveway and I can't turn the computer off fast enough, so I just turned the monitor off (If I was thinking clearly I should have just unplugged it). They find it almost immediately and I start crying and said I was just looking up pictures of Tom Cruise (gross).

[Rojo]

2 hours ago, Hooked-On-Knee said:

My family are okay with it. I think my dad is bi but because of things with his home country, he learned to, "hide", it back when he was a teen living there and has never brought it up.

This is kinda exciting... Sorry.

 

2 hours ago, Zeke said:

I came out to my family when I was 21 and it was... well, a mess.  Still is.

 

Where are you from ? Is it you on your picture?  But at least you are living an honest life... Authenticity is gold.

3 hours ago, Look But Don't Touch said:

I got caught watching gay p rn when I was like 12 

I regret nothing 

Really deep and inspiring coming out story 

SCREAMING. 

----

It's a good, sad and funny topic. It's good to share this kind of experience and see others'.

[Malibu.D.Luxx]

I never got the chance to come out, I was thrown out on my face 😖… my sister assumed I was gay (or maybe I just wasn’t very good at clearing the internet history 😂) and when she got mad at me she went and told the entire family. 🙄 And I mean entire family… even her in-laws… 

And even as an adult and becoming a Drag Queen I didn’t get to (/haven’t got to) come out about that either. I have no idea who found out about it or who told anybody, but the conversations I have with my mom lead me to believe she knows. And it annoys me to no end! Like why can’t I just have these moments?! Honestly all it did was make me feel like I couldn’t really be myself because I never get to tell anyone who I even am! My narrative gets hijacked and it’s not cool 😭 

but all I can do is try being the best version of myself and support others who maybe have a similar story. Sadly I’m not the bish to come to for coming out advice. But I can help u cope with other stuff 😂  

 

[Slayer]

4 hours ago, kfitz421 said:

When I was 19 I had a photo taken of me with a guy that was posted on FB with me tagged in it, so the whole fam saw.

 

I was already out to my friends and sister but not whole fam. My mom took it extremely personally that she wasn’t the absolute 1st to know and thus made the whole experience about herself.

My parents are divorced and I had a bad past with my homophobic dad so I just didn’t tell him, but my step mom and sister decided to out me to my dad since it was on FB. They told him and he decided that I was dead in his mind and we haven’t spoken for 10 years now.

It def was not a good experience at all because my parents made it all about them and I was left to struggle with exile (hey TAY) from my dad on my own.

my fam now pretends that nothing happened between me and my dad and they talk about him as if nothing ever happened which really stresses me out. They made it like it’s some problem that I need to fix between he and I. 
 

Anywho! It was rough and it really sucked and I am still recovering from it to today - buttttt what has been nice is I’m married, happy, have a house in LA (well Reseda but whatever 😂) and my success is just my own special way to say FU to my dad 💅

If people can't accept you for you, they do not deserve you in their lives and it is their loss! I'm really happy to hear how happy you are with things

[Slayer]

3 hours ago, Britney'sBish said:

I was so obviously gay my whole life, but because of my strict baptist upbringing I was terrified of coming out.

When I was 12 my Mom said to me, "You can be anything you want in the world, just don't be gay".

That's the kind of thing that just sticks with you and makes things difficult.

Luckily my Dads always knew and was supportive. When I came out in my twenties my Mom told me that when I was in high school that he told her, "When do you think he's gonna come out" and she told him, "don't you say that".

So things with my Dad are great, it's hard not to be resentful of my Mom because she just acts like she's ok with it.

 

I also got caught watching gay **** when I was like 9, they were at church and I was sick at home. So they pull in the driveway and I can't turn the computer off fast enough, so I just turned the monitor off (If I was thinking clearly I should have just unplugged it). They find it almost immediately and I start crying and said I was just looking up pictures of Tom Cruise (gross).

I'm sorry you had to hear those things growing up, glad your dad has always been supportive! 

You live your life the way you want to, you don't have to please anyone - do what makes you happy and love whoever makes you happy! I say this to everyone here reading! <3

[Zeke]

1 hour ago, B-R-I-T-N-E-Y said:

This is kinda exciting... Sorry.

 

Where are you from ? Is it you on your picture?  But at least you are living an honest life... Authenticity is gold.

SCREAMING. 

----

It's a good, sad and funny topic. It's good to share this kind of experience and see others'.

I'm from Argentina. 

Yep, that's me on my pic :-)

Being authentic is OK to some extent.  If your personal context is narrow-minded, honesty only adds more pain. Some days I regret coming out... It hasn't changed my life for the better. 

[Slayer]

5 hours ago, Look But Don't Touch said:

I got caught watching gay p rn when I was like 12 

I regret nothing 

Really deep and inspiring coming out story 

Well at least you got it out the way early on and you can be you!

4 hours ago, Zeke said:

I came out to my family when I was 21 and it was... well, a mess.  Still is.

Things have improved but their support is out of the picture. Be it (as long as you act as 'straight' as possible) but don't act upon it.

I'm 34 now.

 

Like another user said atleast they know and you can be more 'free'. I'm sure as more time goes on they'll hopefully be more supportive. However, if not it's your life and you do whatever the hell you want! 

4 hours ago, Hooked-On-Knee said:

Actually, as a kid I always thought everyone in this world was bi. So I didn't actually ever feel the need to come out because I just thought we were all the same even though I knew words like, "gay", "straight", etc, were and I knew what they meant, I just thought they were like to describe hypothetical situations. Then one of my friends talked about how she was only interested in people of the male gender, I said, "I think I like both boys and girls?", and she was like, "ew!".

That was 3 years ago when I was 10. I realized I was gay a few months after that initial incident and have never looked back.

My family are okay with it. I think my dad is bi but because of things with his home country, he learned to, "hide", it back when he was a teen living there and has never brought it up. My mom is supportive about it despite being from a conservative household because she works in an industry where LGBT people are very prominently working in so she's gotten to disillusion herself from any beliefs that were instilled in her as a kid, and my sister is supportive but jokes about it a lot.

I think that's great you didn't really need to come out and I think it's amazing your family have been supportive! 

4 hours ago, SloppyToppyGoddess said:

When I was in 6th grade, I was caught by a school faculty member giving two 8th graders head and we all got in trouble and they told our parents. My parents made me do therapy for like 5 years and I was DL the whole time. I eventually confirmed to my mom I'm gay but we never talk about any of it. My parents still will make remarks about me one day marrying a woman...its annoying.

I checked up on the two guys I was blowing and one of the guys now has a boyfriend while the other is married with a wife and kids.

 

Oh wow, that really must have been difficult! I think it's amazing you were brave enough to come out officially - it's a hard thing for anyone to do. Parents can be annoying, especially with those sorts of comments! One day they'll realise you won't be marrying a woman and they'll just have to deal with it. You've got to do what makes you happy.