To get that #1 album....

[Lonndo]

....I am texting and spamming all of my friends ( even the ones I haven't seen in ages; "hey!  How are things?! Been ages. Must catch up soon. And btw, you MUST buy Britney's new album. If not then I am happy to keep our distance." To which most of them have replied by saying they will but only if I buy them drinks. The answer obviously is yes. Who cares once they have bought it. Bye Felicia)! 

And whatsapping/messaging guys I had one night stands with/been on a date with/.from Grindr/ Tinder/ Happn, saying the same thing: " Hey! Been ages! Would love to see you again. Miss that arse/c*ck/whatever. Catch up soon for a fun night?" Then you wait and see how desperate they are to see you again ( most of them). Then BAM! You say " Only if you buy Britney's album". 

So guys! I am "pretty womaning" myself out for her to get that #1 in UK. It better work or my sore arse/c*ck won't be too happy! 

OK! GUYS! Do it besides streaming. Ok. I am back to bed. This guy who had just  pre ordered album is waiting. I am in toilet, typing this. Drunk. Been replying to him "Patience darling, wait for the night" so far so have I go to. Bye. 

UPDATE: I had played MOTM earlier and now this guy keeps singing Make Me Mooooooooo. More update tomorrow. 

[Pp35]

[Legend]

What did I just read