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Hey guys, Disclaimer: This is gonna be very long! I've been an exhale user for ages but the last time I was active was around 10 years ago, since then I've just been lurking around reading Britney news. But I've just finished watching the Deep Dive documentary, and I really want to vent my emotions and share some thoughts that I just cannot hold inside of me (not a big social media user, so this is as good a place as any, so bare with me). I know this forum is not really the place for long discussions, so if you don't care about my thoughts, just pass by, don't be mean I've been a Britney fan since the beginning, when I was a kid a few years younger than her. When I think about it now, I can thank Britney for most things that I appreciate about myself as a person today - speaking English (I learnt the language singing along), making music, being comfortable in my womanhood. Most of all, she gave me comfort when I needed it most. Between the Britney and ITZ eras I stopped religiously following her as I was coming of age, my music tastes broadened, I got more into indie stuff (which is a testament to the quality of Britney's music, despite what most people think about her as an artist - I grew up on her music, and it instilled a very good music taste in me). But when I was going through a bad breakup, already as an adult, in around the Circus era, I needed the comfort of her music again and started inquiring about her life and registered here. This was the introduction into my Britney story. Now thoughts on the whole breakdown/conservatorship situation. In 2007-2008, I read some news about what was going on in her life back then, distantly, and it truly shocked me. But not why you'd think. Now, it might be that I live in Europe and here we are more chill about this stuff, but I truly, really truly did not understand what the big deal about her behavior was. I started reading all these articles in American media how she's crazy, how she's an addict etc - you know what I mean. But when I actually inspected what she was up to, I just couldn't see anything that a normal 20-something person wouldn't do. Especially in her position, surrounded by these crazy paparazzi, during the divorce. I just couldn't understand what was so crazy about her? To this day, it baffles me. I watched this DeepDive documentary, and everything that they showed - I still think there was nothing wrong with her behavior, considering the circumstances. Is it an American thing? I truly don't understand. So this brings me to my next thought - why on earth would she need a conservatorship in the first place? I know that many of you say that it was "necessary" back then but not anymore. But in my opinion (acknowledging my limited knowledge and our lack of access to medical data, so this is pure speculation based on years of observation), nothing that she did, the "crazy things", would require such a drastic measure. We have this procedure of guardianship in my country as well, and a friend of mine put one on his elderly schizophrenic father who cannot even bathe himself. But what I couldn't understand then, and can't understand now, is how all her actions - to me, they seemed very normal, healthy reactions - could lead to this. I thought it was an abuse back then and still think this to this day. So she partied, so she drank, so she took a few drugs (allegedly), I'm sorry, but who didn't? Kids in college in the US do so many much worse things. Personally I had already quit drinking and smoking by my sophomore year, which gives you an idea on when I had started. And her motherhood "incidents" were also ridiculously mistreated - all parents mess up somehow, it's just a matter of time, and most babies are just lucky to survive our incompetence. Finally, although I've always known it, but after seeing this documentary in one sitting, I have to point out the narcissistic abuse Britney suffered from her father and possibly others. I am currently coming out of an 8 year abusive toxic environment at my workplace with a narcissistic psychopathic boss. Only after three years of therapy, I was able to quit the horrible job in politics (where narcissists thrive, just like in showbiz) and see the gaslighting I've been subject to for years. I am talking about it because I am seeing a lot of posts here and elsewhere asking why Britney doesn't speak up, or why her instagram is so weird. I'll tell you why. Manipulations that narcissists are capable of are just insane. Her father, an alcoholic, is a textbook narcissist - controlling, abusive, manipulative. For years, I couldn't quit my job because my boss manipulated me into thinking that if I quit, the whole organization will go down and over 50 people will lose their jobs because of me. The boss also made sure that whoever quit on their own couldn't get another job in this sector, showing me what they will do to me if I, the closest confidante, will quit. And I truly believed that in my gaslighted mind. I know the word now, but for years, I just thought I was losing my mind, going crazy, because someone was constantly telling me the reality is not real. Now, I can only imagine the scale of this manipulation when it's not just about some coworkers and friends but about your own kids. And you might think that he is doing it for the money. Maybe his allies and enablers are. But I think he truly believes that he is saving her. Knowing this kind of abuse from inside out, studying it now for over a year, I am almost sure that he thinks that everybody owes him, that he's the true victim and that without him she's nobody. And these are the kind of thoughts that he has made her think for years, gaslighting, diminishing her, making her feel devalued, second-guessing herself, shaming her for her supposed "sins". I've only dealt with this for a couple of years, and in a workplace - and I am still pretty damaged. Imagine that on a whole different level, and with the pressure of the whole world looking. I don't think that her instagram is weird. I think it is not weird enough, after everything. Her anxiety is a very normal psyche reaction, as a coping mechanism. To think that she was able to work so hard and so well after and during all this is just extraordinary for me - I am lucky if I can get out of bed at all, as of now. I think she had the healthiest possible reactions to the events of her life, to people taking advantage of her goodness and kindness. Kindness is a modern sin. So there are my thoughts. Sorry for the long read. I would appreciate a discussion and, perhaps, an explanation of how exactly such normal actions and reactions by a 20something year old woman be perceived as crazy. I just can't wrap my head around it. btw, the best source describing manipulation techniques that these people use is the channel of Dr Ramani on youtube - I think it would be great to ask her to do a video on Britney's situation, she talks about TV shows sometimes: https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorRamanDurvasula. She explains very well why children of narcissistic parents are magnets for abusers, especially when they are empathic like Britney is. Please be kind