Self Harm

[Neydelinska Spearsi]

Does anyone else struggles with it? And how do u cope with it?

[MysticWomaney]

My baby what's going on?

I am sorry you have come here because you are in this situation but I've been here and used this platform too to help. So I understand why you may be feeling you need to find help and I am, the good people of exhale, are here.

To  begin, it's an uphill battle and many different methods are affective. But often an understanding ear can help and im here send me a DM and we can exchange WhatsApps so I don't miss a message to support you.

Honestly. Here. For. You.

[Neydelinska Spearsi]

Last person who asked personal info from me forced jordan into permashutting chatbox so, no.

[MysticWomaney]

Just now, Neydelinska Spearsi said:

Last person who asked personal info from me forced jordan into permashutting chatbox so, no.

Idk what thar actually means lol 

 

[jonloch1]

Unfortunately yes i have. started when i was in high school and im 32 now. i have cerebral palsy and it comes from anger/frustration mostly, also sadness. i must say though i am lucky i live in a big house with a pool [its not a mansion im not a multi millionaire lol but its a big size] that helps me with my legs, i also have family and friends so i dont wanna make out poor me. i dont SH that often now. in HS there was a time i did it all of the time. i havent cut, but i do scratch to where ive drawn blood and its 99% because i get frustrated with my disability and other family **** that i wont go into, ive also lost 2 very close people when i was 10 and 11, one died and one is an alcoholic and they were like a 2nd mum and dad to me. then obviously living with CP brings up challenges  of if i wanna meet with friends, i can but it takes a lot more organising than a normal person which brings up frustrations that i cant just jump in a car and go. and unfortunately this can lead to SH. I've never cut myself but i sometimes scratch myself or i use to get pens and write all over my legs I hate my life etc which tbh i didnt think had any side effects until my sister said there's a risk of lead poisoning. i mostly scratch and punch myself now if i feel sad, angry or frustrated, or hit my head on doors which i know can lead to brain damage, or in my case more as im already brain damaged due to my CP

Like @MysticWomaney said, its an uphill battle that i think once you have SH, you're always going to be prone to it. i can go months without doing it and i have to be really low to do it. its not a case of aw its raining today i wanna SH. I have an amazing best friend who knows everything about me and knows im prone to SH and so i can message her anytime and she gets me . i also try to punch a pillow or actually write down how im feeling. no one ever reads it and its immediately ripped up and thrown in the bin but at least ive got it out. i would say try talking to someone but i know thats easier said than done, but even if its just a great pal who you 100% trust

i hope you're ok though. i know its really hard and most people   dont understand SH and just think its attention seeking

Edited June 4, 2023 by jonloch1

[Neydelinska Spearsi]

14 minutes ago, jonloch1 said:

Unfortunately yes i have. started when i was in high school and im 32 now. i have cerebral palsy and it comes from anger/frustration mostly, also sadness. i must say though i am lucky i live in a big house with a pool [its not a mansion im not a multi millionaire lol but its a big size] that helps me with my legs, i also have family and friends so i dont wanna make out poor me. i dont SH that often now. in HS there was a time i did it all of the time. i havent cut, but i do scratch to where ive drawn blood and its 99% because i get frustrated with my disability and other family **** that i wont go into, ive also lost 2 very close people when i was 10 and 11, one died and one is an alcoholic and they were like a 2nd mum and dad to me. then obviously living with CP brings up challenges  of if i wanna meet with friends, i can but it takes a lot more organising than a normal person which brings up frustrations that i cant just jump in a car and go. and unfortunately this can lead to SH. I've never cut myself but i sometimes scratch myself or i use to get pens and write all over my legs I hate my life etc which tbh i didnt think had any side effects until my sister said there's a risk of lead poisoning. i mostly scratch and punch myself now if i feel sad, angry or frustrated, or hit my head on doors which i know can lead to brain damage, or in my case more as im already brain damaged due to my CP

Like @MysticWomaney said, its an uphill battle that i think once you have SH, you're always going to be prone to it. i can go months without doing it and i have to be really low to do it. its not a case of aw its raining today i wanna SH. I have an amazing best friend who knows everything about me and knows im prone to SH and so i can message her anytime and she gets me . i also try to punch a pillow or actually write down how im feeling. no one ever reads it and its immediately ripped up and thrown in the bin but at least ive got it out. i would say try talking to someone but i know thats easier said than done, but even if its just a great pal who you 100% trust

i hope you're ok though. i know its really hard and most people   dont understand SH and just think its attention seeking

 

It it was attention seeking we wouldn't live our whole lives hiding it and making out stories  and excuses about our bruises, cuts and burns.

[jonloch1]

23 minutes ago, Neydelinska Spearsi said:

 

It it was attention seeking we wouldn't live our whole lives hiding it and making out stories  and excuses about our bruises, cuts and burns.

i know, and its not even a nice thing to do. no one ever thinks i think i might SH  now woohoo !! plus you feel like an idiot afterwards, you're covered in cuts/bruises, it hurts and you then try to hide it, or with face stratches im always like 'i fell' and person is like awww how did you fall, then you have to think up a believable story. so its the exact opposite of attention seeking 

Edited June 4, 2023 by jonloch1

[Neydelinska Spearsi]

2 hours ago, jonloch1 said:

i know, and its not even a nice thing to do. no one ever thinks i think i might SH  now woohoo !! plus you feel like an idiot afterwards, you're covered in cuts/bruises, it hurts and you then try to hide it, or with face stratches im always like 'i fell' and person is like awww how did you fall, then you have to think up a believable story. so its the exact opposite of attention seeking 

 

 

That why i hit myself, i sell the story of having anemia. no one can confirm i dont. and i dont have to mind the bruises. anemia easily causes them

[doomphantom1]

Yes.

I've gone through a lot in my life.  My father is a pervert and my mother is a lunatic.  They took advantage of me and then everyone else around me did as well.  For years until my late 30s, the cycle repeated itself.  For a long time, I was broken down and living with random people to avoid being homeless.  There was domestic violence, financial exploitation, and other things.  It was painful but I had no other choice but to keep going.

The best thing that I did for myself was read "Mindfulness in Plain English."  I know this sounds really out there, but I found peace of mind when I started meditating and I realized the tremendous power the mind has when it's still and disciplined.  From there, I slowly started exercising and cleaning up my eating.  That took a while.

Then, I went back to school and slowly cut things and people that I didn't need from my life.  I let them take from me shamelessly and when they were done, I walked away and I made sure I was walking away for good.

The most important thing I learned is to get everything in writing, from therapists, doctors, teachers, to your very best friends.  Everyone lies to you.  There are very few out there with good intentions.

[dulcaewm]

much love and support to all who are having a hard time