Help! I need tips on getting fired!

[RebellionSparkles]

Can anyone share experience leaving a job or have you been fired or fired someone and have tips? I have to get fired to get out of my contract--ideally with burning the fewest bridges possible.

I tried a job that was slightly different to expand my work experience; and it's just not a good fit. But if I quit they OWN me. I have a non compete so I couldnt work for 6 months! Healthcare is too expensive in the US for anyone to afford that. And I would have to pay the company for tuition of classes I took for work. 

I've already told the people I hate to eff themselves several times! twice this week! (it is exactly as satisfying as you imagine). This has gotten the ball rolling in the right direction, but now what?

Am I trapped?

^^ This doesnt get you fired!! I've tried!!

[Invitation]

Keep being late to work and make up silly excuses, silly enough for them to know they are just excuses.

[JayTawndre]

44 minutes ago, Invitation said:

Keep being late to work and make up silly excuses, silly enough for them to know they are just excuses.

This

[JayTawndre]

Love you Ron 💖

[RebellionSparkles]

2 hours ago, Invitation said:

Keep being late to work and make up silly excuses, silly enough for them to know they are just excuses.

A classic. Lol but there is such a people shortage right now that even this might take a few months. We live in a weird time…it’s impossible to get a job when you need one and then impossible to get fired if you need to leave a job 😆

[RebellionSparkles]

2 hours ago, Invitation said:

Keep being late to work and make up silly excuses, silly enough for them to know they are just excuses.

Lol the excuses could get really funny though…like…I’m late bc I was effing your husband. I WISH I were bold enough to say that.

 

[RebellionSparkles]

The part that sucks I about purposeful underperformance is that it hurts my colleagues…they would have to back up for my work. And that’s just sad. I don’t want to do that to them!

but being late yes 💯% part of the plan.