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Why I Originally Left Exhale (Leave Britney Alone!!!)


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51 minutes ago, PokemonSpears said:

I left for the same reasons in 2014, when the forum became a Pop forum and everybody started hating on BJ and POM.

But then I went to this other forum where everything was "pink" but it wasn't authentic, there was a lot of hypocrisy there, besides their internal drama, and that plus a lack of active users, made me to eventually come back to Exhale.

Sadly I think this isn't a Britney exclusive situation, I see it with other people too, even with the Latin artists I follow. As you say, there is a dehumanization of the artists, which is not ok, yet at the same time is understandable. Not everyone has the same level of empathy or the level of consciousness to see artists as human beings, when we don't even know the human being behind the artist. I mean, for more documentaries or interviews we watch, at the end of the day we're not there with them behind the camera on a daily basis.

I don't agree, and I think I've never expressed myself in a rude way about Britney or anyone else, but I think, or I want to believe, that most of the people that comment in that way or used to do it, they didn't really mean it?... like, again, I wouldn't do it, not even under the anonymity, but the Internet, especially back in those years you mention, used to be this free place, where no rules, no laws, no ethics existed and everyone could say whatever they wanted, because it was the internet. And maybe a lot of people used it as a escape to express things they wouldn't say in real life, or if they knew the artists were reading it. Artists weren't supposed to visit fan forums. Social media wasn't as prominent, and even if there were pages for artists, it was understood that it wasn't the actual artist managing them, reading the comments, like, it didn't use to be seen as a personal account of theirs, but it was most like a tool for promotion, like an extension of their official websites so to speak. It wasn't until the rise of Instagram and the verified accounts that we started to see more and more artists claiming to be on social media, reading comments, posting by themselves, etc.

But yeah, times have changed, people has changed, even though I still avoid places like Twitter.

I totally get what you're saying and maybe what I'm asking for is a tad unrealistic... but I just feel as though it is super disingenuous for everyone to be singing kumbaya and fighting for Britney's treatment, criticize the media and how the public has treated her... when a lot of the fans were participating in the behaviour they are now condemning. I just wanna call out this behaviour so people aren't so... y'know... caustic in the future and when things calm down... people aren't so aggro.

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5 minutes ago, theannehedonia said:

but I just feel as though it is super disingenuous for everyone to be singing kumbaya and fighting for Britney's treatment, criticize the media and how the public has treated her... when a lot of the fans were participating in the behaviour they are now condemning.

Yep!

I'm finding it really hard to watch so many people patting themselves on the back for being part of "the movement" when it seemed so blatantly clear that she was screaming for help all along.

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35 minutes ago, Danielle1987 said:

It’s actually beginning to crumble :crying1_britney_sobbing_tears_2006_sad:

After all this time. It's been a weight on me. As a person who has personally struggled from mental health issues, the idea of having ones' rights taken away due to that is just... unthinkable. It's an injustice and one I hope is corrected soon. #FREEBRITNEY <3 

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1 hour ago, theannehedonia said:

I totally get what you're saying and maybe what I'm asking for is a tad unrealistic... but I just feel as though it is super disingenuous for everyone to be singing kumbaya and fighting for Britney's treatment, criticize the media and how the public has treated her... when a lot of the fans were participating in the behaviour they are now condemning. I just wanna call out this behaviour so people aren't so... y'know... caustic in the future and when things calm down... people aren't so aggro.

yeah, I think, or I want to believe, there's definitely gonna be a shift from now on, and I think even before Britney's testimony, since the #freebritney movement exploded in 2019 a lot of people really changed their attitude, or felt remorse about how they've been treating her in the past years, but we'll have to wait and see

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I also wanna add, and this isn't sponsored lol, that @Jordan Miller also has pushed a lot for a new Exhale that is more kind, trying to remove the image it used to have in the past, and apparently it's worked.

Not to take away credit from all the users that had their own process of realization about what's good and bad, but Jordan has really been very strict this past couple of years about putting kindness above all, receiving a lot of backlash in the process. A lot of people didn't agree, made fun of it, felt censored, and have even accused him of being Team Con or pro-JL, etc for asking us to be kind, even with those that have kept Britney in this situation.

A lot of the bigger trolls were also banned in that period, not only the ones that talked bad about Britney, but also those that kept harassing other users, and the new Mods have gotten rid of many of the newer problematic users that have been here in the last months.

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2 minutes ago, PokemonSpears said:

I also wanna add, and this isn't sponsored lol, that @Jordan Miller also has pushed a lot for a new Exhale that is more kind, trying to remove the image it used to have in the past, and apparently it's worked.

Not to take away credit from all the users that had their own process of realization about what's good and bad, but Jordan has really been very strict this past couple of years about putting kindness above all, receiving a lot of backlash in the process. A lot of people didn't agree, made fun of it, felt censored, and have even accused him or being Team Con or pro-JL, etc for asking us to be kind, even with those that have kept Britney in this situation.

A lot of the bigger trolls were also banned in that period, not only the ones that talked bad about Britney, but also those that kept harassing other users, and the new Mods have gotten rid of many of the newer problematic users that have been here in the last months.

As someone who just made an account here last year, the environment has overall been kind and productive and I really appreciate the work Jordan and all mods have put in. 
 

I do have to say I was a bit hesitant to join because I did hear that exhale was a nasty/rude place when I used to post on a different forum but that wasn’t the case (at least anymore) when I joined here 🙂

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2 minutes ago, Onyxgirl17 said:

As someone who just made an account here last year, the environment has overall been kind and productive and I really appreciate the work Jordan and all mods have put in. 
 

I do have to say I was a bit hesitant to join because I did hear that exhale was a nasty/rude place when I used to post on a different forum but that wasn’t the case (at least anymore) when I joined here 🙂

:yesokay_britney_blush_blink: it used to be called Exhell for a reason, but Jordan has fought precisely against that image

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Taking the high road isn’t a good look when we didn’t know what we didn’t know. We only got leaks of what was going on a little bit in 2016 with Make Me and Jonathan Ross and then the voicemail came out.

The fact is Britney was ‘Lazy’, ‘Uninterested’ and ‘Not Present’ for a lot of the POM shows, FF Tour, FF Era, interviews etc. 
 

We made excuses for it for a long time, then we got annoyed as we felt conned, I definitely felt conned at times. In interviews she would say it’s the hardest show she’s ever done, go would criticise her lipping and lack of dancing, BJ was HORRIBLE, and so on and so on.

Obviously now we realise she was being drugged, literally being held captive in her own home and only allowed out to perform or record music that she was forced to do.

Its so easy to look back and shame people for ‘Dragging’ Britney and mocking her dancing or whatever, but the truth is all that we had to go on were her actions at the time.

downvote me all you like, but it’s true. We were all confused. I went through moments of feeling almost betrayed because I was paying hundreds of pounds to see a crap non-live show. Then I would go through moments of being completely behind her and thinking about her mental health and how much she had been through. Little did we know she was going through the worst of it and 2007 was just the tip of a massive ice berg. 
 

Im also glad everyone is behind her, and we now know the full story. The fact we are still here shows our true intentions. Her team pitted us against each other, her team forced her to work. Her team ripped us off. Her team stole our money as well as hers, and sold us a half assed show while she was shackled to a career she never wanted since 2008.

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Well, welcome back and thank you for sharing your winding Exhale journey with us all. I wasn’t around during the times you were on, so I cannot imagine the harmful, disturbing, or straight up s**ist things people would possibly say about Britney during that era. And to be have those comments made when Britney was in the throes of being placed under a conservatorship (and voicing opposition to it every step of the way) would be upsetting, to say the least.

I joined leading up to the Glory era (had been lurking since Pretty Girls was released :prettyney_britney_iggy_girls_bbma_2015_hair_flip_bounce:) so I do remember many a thread that would complain about “Robotney” during POM, and would hate when people would make threads about or try to hypothesize what kind of plastic surgery she had. There was a whole “Jokerney” era here where people would casually compare her looks to Joker… as if that was supposed to be accurate, funny, or both. :tiffeyeroll_miss_ny_new_york_ms_annoyed_eyes_roll_eyeroll_irritated:
My impression was that fans felt this connection to Britney where she took on the role as BFF, sister, close relative, personal savior, generational icon, etc. that made people feel so close to her that they could say anything without consequence. Because “we’re all in on it”, because “we’re all in the same friend group/fan base.” But at times it got so nasty that it was clear all some wanted to do was drag Britney through the mud. Because they simply could. And maybe this goes on to reflect how society treats powerful women.

I became a fan of Britney’s/started following her life when I was a closeted middle school gay. The first album I ever bought was Blackout. I remember having to sneak into the back bedroom at my grandparents house to watch the 2007 VMA performance, and being both in awe—because it was Britney ******* Spears—but also feeling horrified because it became clear how the media/society was so against Britney. I remember watching on TV with my family as helicopters surrounded Britney’s house as she experienced her first 5150 and just being so scared. Not knowing if she was going to be OK, and being so angry at what a circus the media made of her suffering. I was aware she was placed under a temporary conservatorship, and thinking (at the time), “Hopefully she can heal up and take time to process all of what she’d been through.” But then it became obvious that all of this was done to repair her career/relaunch the juggernaut we all fell in love with. When it became permanent, I remember there was an eventual shift in Britney—she seemed dimmed, sad, defeated. I remember thinking to myself most days “I just hope she wakes up happy/at peace.”

I feel like I’m rambling at this point, but I share all this to say that in hindsight, for those who maybe weren’t paying the closest attention at the time (either out of ignorance or disbelief that something like this could be happening to their fave), it’s now obvious how she’s been fighting the past 13 years to regain freedom and a life worth living. It may be too late and damage may already be done, but hopefully the fans that were cruel or didn’t want to take this conservatorship seriously are finally coming around to rethinking their actions and how they contributed to a culture that made it OK to bully, among other things, Britney.

Your OP brought up a lot for me to consider and reflect on, and to change. Anyways, thank you for sharing and continuing this critical dialogue. And welcome back! :queenflopga_walk_sass_pink:

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2 minutes ago, Martian_M00d said:

LMAO that second I've never seen before :tiffcackle_Tiffany_miss_ny_New_York_pollard_laugh_giggle_lol_haha_hehe:

The Private Show perfume commercial! :gloria_falling_stairs_trip: That was a celebratory day here hahaha. Because we had previews on Insta but when the whole commercial dropped… our wigs were gone. Nowhere to be found. :tiffcackle_Tiffany_miss_ny_New_York_pollard_laugh_giggle_lol_haha_hehe: This plus Exhale couldn’t quite handle the traffic so the server kept going down lead to meltdowns from some people… hence the gif.

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