Why I Originally Left Exhale (Leave Britney Alone!!!)

[theannehedonia]

So I've been a long-time visitor to breatheheavy since 2007 and was a regular poster from 2008/2009 on. I was one of the regulars and became quite ingratiated in the community. I eventually rage quit exhale due to the mistreatment Britney got from her own fans. I'm glad the environment has changed and people are much more supportive, yet I still think back to the times of the constant criticism and comparisons to when she was 'at her prime.' It's interesting to see the whole tide of the fandom change to be defensive of her and support her now, yet when she literally was forced to work against her will fans literally **** on everything she did. Not only were they unsupportive of their supposed fave, they became antagonistic toward her and all that she did; they were cruel and complained at everything from her hair, make up, dance moves, music, and music videos.  It killed the joy I felt being a fan of hers and began to impact the appreciation I had towards any efforts she made in regards to her career, performances and music. So after bunch of the regular posters got outed for being catfishes and combined with how it was impacting my connection to Britney and her catalogue, I announced I was leaving exhale, locked myself out of my account (A lot of people claimed they were leaving and then always came back. I didn't wanna be a hypocrite :P ) and, due to my lack of socialization and my resulting loneliness, only returned during the covid-19 pandemic.

My original account: @BryceFatale

I've been a lurker and infrequent poster ever since and I'm glad the environment has drastically changed. Though I wonder how many of the current members participated in that behaviour that caused me to leave in the first place. I think it is important to reflect on ourselves, how we as fans act towards our faves, and remember to be empathetic, compassionate, and realize that these artists are actual humans. They have lives, relationships, and drama going on behind the scenes, that impacts their art, music, and performances. It makes me sad to think that while Britney was suffering, a good portion of her fandom was dragging her through the mud as well. Focusing on her imperfections rather than appreciating her for the phenomenal artist that she is. Regardless of the artist/celebrity, cruelty and mockery is never okay and I think it's deplorable to partake in it at anytime. Imagine if Britney, while suffering under the conservatorship, saw what her own fanbase was saying about her. That would be pretty bleak. She would have seen that a good portion of her fanbase have turned against her, it would have been really demoralizing. So before y'all post on here, even in regards to her family or other artists, try to calm yourselves; These are real people, not characters on Game of Thrones. We also don't have the full story or information. Just support our fave, be kind, and be compassionate y'all!

[Almost Mystical]

1 hour ago, theannehedonia said:

So I've been a long-time visitor to breatheheavy since 2007 and was a regular poster from 2008/2009 on. I was one of the regulars and became quite ingratiated in the community. I eventually rage quit exhale due to the mistreatment Britney got from her own fans. I'm glad the environment has changed and people are much more supportive, yet I still think back to the times of the constant criticism and comparisons to when she was 'at her prime.' It's interesting to see the whole tide of the fandom change to be defensive of her and support her now, yet when she literally was forced to work against her will fans literally **** on everything she did. Not only were they unsupportive of their supposed fave, they became antagonistic toward her and all that she did; they were cruel and complained at everything from her hair, make up, dance moves, music, and music videos.  It killed the joy I felt being a fan of hers and began to impact the appreciation I had towards any efforts she made in regards to her career, performances and music. So after bunch of the regular posters got outed for being catfishes and combined with how it was impacting my connection to Britney and her catalogue, I announced I was leaving exhale, locked myself out of my account (A lot of people claimed they were leaving and then always came back. I didn't wanna be a hypocrite :P ) and, due to my lack of socialization and my resulting loneliness, only returned during the covid-19 pandemic.

My original account: @BryceFatale

I've been a lurker and infrequent poster ever since and I'm glad the environment has drastically changed. Though I wonder how many of the current members participated in that behaviour that caused me to leave in the first place. I think it is important to reflect on ourselves, how we as fans act towards our faves, and remember to be empathetic, compassionate, and realize that these artists are actual humans. They have lives, relationships, and drama going on behind the scenes, that impacts their art, music, and performances. It makes me sad to think that while Britney was suffering, a good portion of her fandom was dragging her through the mud as well. Focusing on her imperfections rather than appreciating her for the phenomenal artist that she is. Regardless of the artist/celebrity, cruelty and mockery is never okay and I think it's deplorable to partake in it at anytime. Imagine if Britney, while suffering under the conservatorship, saw what her own fanbase was saying about her. That would be pretty bleak. She would have seen that a good portion of her fanbase have turned against her, it would have been really demoralizing. So before y'all post on here, even in regards to her family or other artists, try to calm yourselves; These are real people, not characters on Game of Thrones. We also don't have the full story or information. Just support our fave, be kind, and be compassionate y'all!

Yup, but team con has to go. They made her suffer enough. 

[Justin Woodpond]

3 hours ago, theannehedonia said:

So I've been a long-time visitor to breatheheavy since 2007 and was a regular poster from 2008/2009 on. I was one of the regulars and became quite ingratiated in the community. I eventually rage quit exhale due to the mistreatment Britney got from her own fans. I'm glad the environment has changed and people are much more supportive, yet I still think back to the times of the constant criticism and comparisons to when she was 'at her prime.' It's interesting to see the whole tide of the fandom change to be defensive of her and support her now, yet when she literally was forced to work against her will fans literally **** on everything she did. Not only were they unsupportive of their supposed fave, they became antagonistic toward her and all that she did; they were cruel and complained at everything from her hair, make up, dance moves, music, and music videos.  It killed the joy I felt being a fan of hers and began to impact the appreciation I had towards any efforts she made in regards to her career, performances and music. So after bunch of the regular posters got outed for being catfishes and combined with how it was impacting my connection to Britney and her catalogue, I announced I was leaving exhale, locked myself out of my account (A lot of people claimed they were leaving and then always came back. I didn't wanna be a hypocrite :P ) and, due to my lack of socialization and my resulting loneliness, only returned during the covid-19 pandemic.

My original account: @BryceFatale

I've been a lurker and infrequent poster ever since and I'm glad the environment has drastically changed. Though I wonder how many of the current members participated in that behaviour that caused me to leave in the first place. I think it is important to reflect on ourselves, how we as fans act towards our faves, and remember to be empathetic, compassionate, and realize that these artists are actual humans. They have lives, relationships, and drama going on behind the scenes, that impacts their art, music, and performances. It makes me sad to think that while Britney was suffering, a good portion of her fandom was dragging her through the mud as well. Focusing on her imperfections rather than appreciating her for the phenomenal artist that she is. Regardless of the artist/celebrity, cruelty and mockery is never okay and I think it's deplorable to partake in it at anytime. Imagine if Britney, while suffering under the conservatorship, saw what her own fanbase was saying about her. That would be pretty bleak. She would have seen that a good portion of her fanbase have turned against her, it would have been really demoralizing. So before y'all post on here, even in regards to her family or other artists, try to calm yourselves; These are real people, not characters on Game of Thrones. We also don't have the full story or information. Just support our fave, be kind, and be compassionate y'all!

Thanks for sharing!

You are absolutely right, some of her worst critics were her actual fans. Thankfully, a lot has changed with regards to our understanding of mental health, and culturally the unreal standards we place on women.

One of the reasons I adore Britney is because she’s not perfect. Society needs to see those imperfections, accept them, and appreciate them. Love them even. Which, I think post Perez Hilton/TMZ/The Golden age of internet-blog gossip it has big time.   

“…after bunch of the regular posters got outed for being catfishes…”

What do you mean? Please elaborate…

[RAITEI]

Skimmed but it was logical to question the level of professionalism that was shown. Now this changes things.

[MonaLisa613]

I left for a period of time for the same reason, it was disgusting that her own fans were saying such hateful stuff about her. Fortunately it’s a much more pleasant place now.

[Urbanney]

Omg I remember you! But yeah… FF era was brutal on here to Britney. I was only 12-13 years old during that era, so I didn’t realize the full gravity of how messed up so many of the comments were at the time.

I think there were a lot of fans who were just supportive too, but then they got called “Britards” by other fans

[theannehedonia]

31 minutes ago, Justin Woodpond said:

You are absolutely right, some of her worst critics were her actual fans. But a lot has with regards to our understanding of mental health, and culturally the unreal standards we place on women.

One of the reasons I adore Britney is because she’s not perfect. Society needs to see those imperfections accept them and appreciate Them. Which, I think post Perez Hilton/TMZ/The Golden age of internet-blog gossip it has big time.   

“…after bunch of the regular posters got outed for being catfishes…”

What do you mean? Please elaborate…

So in the general section there was a bunch of regulars that all posted. There was cliques, rivalries, frenemies, etc. We were a very tight nit community. We had a pictures thread and people would often post pictures of themselves. In just a short time period, over 5 regular posters were outed for faking their identity, gender, etc. It was weird and kind of shocking/depressing. I had been lied to by people I had thought were my friends, so I was just over it all. This partially contributed to the reason why I left exhale.

[theannehedonia]

2 minutes ago, Urbanney said:

Omg I remember you! But yeah… FF era was brutal on here to Britney. I was only 12-13 years old during that era, so I didn’t realize the full gravity of how messed up so many of the comments were at the time.

I think there were a lot of fans who were just supportive too, but then they got called “Britards” by other fans

Yeah, I was called a Britard a few times. Not all fans were bad, but some of them (far too many) were just so bitter. It was extremely problematic. I loved the FF era tbh. I still think FF was her most cohesive album yet. The singles were also super strong. I would give anything for another Britney album. 

[Scrappy]

Let’s be real for a second: blind faith is what the con-ship wanted. They would be happy if Brit worked like a machine and folks ate it up without question. It’s the critical ones that pushed for change. Confusion, irritation, criticism is natural when you don’t have the full picture. Moreover, fans were being lied to. She was not behaving professionally at times and they called her out on it. The underlying root was what we didn’t know, but again, hindsight is 20/20. It feels like you came on here just be like “I told you so!” And it’s like, is this really necessary or productive?

[theannehedonia]

9 minutes ago, Scrappy said:

Let’s be real for a second: blind faith is what the con-ship wanted. They would be happy if Brit worked like a machine and folks ate it up without question. It’s the critical ones that pushed for change. Confusion, irritation, criticism is natural when you don’t have the full picture. Moreover, fans were being lied to. She was not behaving professionally at times and they called her out on it. The underlying root was what we didn’t know, but again, hindsight is 20/20. It feels like you came on here just be like “I told you so!” And it’s like, is this really necessary or productive?

It wasn't productive or constructive. They lambasted Britney for not putting in the actual effort. The fans cared nothing for the conservatorship and blamed Britney for everything. If you were Britney, would you have been happy with that? "Oh their ****ting on me and everything I do lead to the conservatorship being questioned."  No. It didn't work like that. I left exhale a Britney fan who was still questioning why she was in a conservatorship and talking about it to all who would listen. You didn't need to be an ******* to Britney and trash her to dislike the conservatorship. This is a false equivocation and just justifying terrible behaviour. Britney was clearly unhappy and unmotivated and those who were unhappy with what she was producing placed the blame on her.

I don't celebrate every single thing she has ever done, but I don't participate in unnecessary cruelty either. Don't build a straw man argument based on what I said. Logical fallacies aren't cute.

[Martian_M00d]

Happy to have you aboard! You sound like a good person 

[PokemonSpears]

I left for the same reasons in 2014, when the forum became a Pop forum and everybody started hating on BJ and POM.

But then I went to this other forum where everything was "pink" but it wasn't authentic, there was a lot of hypocrisy there, besides their internal drama, and that plus a lack of active users, made me to eventually come back to Exhale.

Sadly I think this isn't a Britney exclusive situation, I see it with other people too, even with the Latin artists I follow. As you say, there is a dehumanization of the artists, which is not ok, yet at the same time is understandable. Not everyone has the same level of empathy or the level of consciousness to see artists as human beings, when we don't even know the human being behind the artist. I mean, for more documentaries or interviews we watch, at the end of the day we're not there with them behind the camera on a daily basis.

I don't agree, and I think I've never expressed myself in a rude way about Britney or anyone else, but I think, or I want to believe, that most of the people that comment in that way or used to do it, they didn't really mean it?... like, again, I wouldn't do it, not even under the anonymity, but the Internet, especially back in those years you mention, used to be this free place, where no rules, no laws, no ethics existed and everyone could say whatever they wanted, because it was the internet. And maybe a lot of people used it as a escape to express things they wouldn't say in real life, or if they knew the artists were reading it. Artists weren't supposed to visit fan forums. Social media wasn't as prominent, and even if there were pages for artists, it was understood that it wasn't the actual artist managing them, reading the comments, like, it didn't use to be seen as a personal account of theirs, but it was more like a tool for promotion, like an extension of their official websites so to speak. It wasn't until the rise of Instagram and the verified accounts that we started to see more and more artists claiming to be on social media, reading comments, posting by themselves, etc.

But yeah, times have changed, people has changed, even though I still avoid places like Twitter.

[queenofhearts]

this is me...I was more active from 2009-2016 but the fans were just so critical of everything from her weight to her makeup. I remember during femme fatale tour she had some dark makeup on during meet and greets pictures and people were complaining about it, but I don't think they were taking into context that she wore heavier makeup bc of the bright lights of the stage. I honestly have a friend who does theater and she wear a lot of heavy makeup for the stage but if you were to take a picture of her under "normal" light it would look bad

[queenofhearts]

7 minutes ago, PokemonSpears said:

I left for the same reasons in 2014, when the forum became a Pop forum and everybody started hating on BJ and POM.

But then I went to this other forum where everything was "pink" but it wasn't authentic, there was a lot of hypocrisy there, besides their internal drama, and that plus a lack of active users, made me to eventually come back to Exhale.

Sadly I think this isn't a Britney exclusive situation, I see it with other people too, even with the Latin artists I follow. As you say, there is a dehumanization of the artists, which is not ok, yet at the same time is understandable. Not everyone has the same level of empathy or the level of consciousness to see artists as human beings, when we don't even know the human being behind the artist. I mean, for more documentaries or interviews we watch, at the end of the day we're not there with them behind the camera on a daily basis.

I don't agree, and I think I've never expressed myself in a rude way about Britney or anyone else, but I think, or I want to believe, that most of the people that comment in that way or used to do it, they didn't really mean it?... like, again, I wouldn't do it, not even under the anonymity, but the Internet, especially back in those years you mention, used to be this free place, where no rules, no laws, no ethics existed and everyone could say whatever they wanted, because it was the internet. And maybe a lot of people used it as a escape to express things they wouldn't say in real life, or if they knew the artists were reading it. Artists weren't supposed to visit fan forums. Social media wasn't as prominent, and even if there were pages for artists, it was understood that it wasn't the actual artist managing them, reading the comments, like, it didn't use to be seen as a personal account of theirs, but it was more like a tool for promotion, like an extension of their official websites so to speak. It wasn't until the rise of Instagram and the verified accounts that we started to see more and more artists claiming to be on social media, reading comments, posting by themselves, etc.

But yeah, times have changed, people has changed, even though I still avoid places like Twitter.

I feel like if I say I like the Britney Jean album people will attack me.........

[Steel Magnolia]

You're 100% right in what you've written.

There was some pretty terrible behaviour on here...towards others members and especially towards Britney.

[KatieKat]

3 hours ago, MonaLisa613 said:

I left for a period of time for the same reason, it was disgusting that her own fans were saying such hateful stuff about her. Fortunately it’s a much more pleasant place now.

🙌🏻 

[PokemonSpears]

11 minutes ago, thedoughboy said:

I feel like if I say I like the Britney Jean album people will attack me.........

back then I used to be attacked for saying Oops was better than Blackout

[queenofhearts]

1 minute ago, PokemonSpears said:

back then I used to be attacked for saying Oops was better than Blackout

I never really cared for blackout......it's a great album if that's the type of music beats you like but it just wasn't my thing. There are a few songs I downloaded from the I never bought the whole album

[Onyxgirl17]

I agree with much of what you’ve said :).
 

I was in a different forum from 2003-2017 that I don’t believe is nearly as active now (EKG/ Bad Media Karma). I took a break from forums due to life circumstances 2018-2019 and wasn’t really alerted to what was going on with Britney until last summer.  I just kept up with the Instagram for those few years. 
 

I find exhale to be very active and overall a positive environment.
 

All the forums have issues between some members due to different opinions(and the rogue troll lol). Having different opinions is fine (and should be encouraged for all of us to express ourselves) as long as we are respectful to each other. We can respectfully disagree and still all be here out of love for Britney…. and now to free her!

[Danielle1987]

Pretty sure I remember you! Is your name Bryce Tippe?