in retrospective - all post conservatorship moments.

[nthenwkiss]

hey guys. as many of you here, i've found myself analyzing the past now that we finally heard from her directly; and i can't help but feel uneasy and question everything.

one important thing that comes to mind is the opening night of the circus tour. those dont look like tears of joy.

we've heard before that she was teared up because she felt loved and was happy to be back and seeing that everybody still loved her, but now i wonder - was she crying cause her slavery had just begun? im sure that by this time (based on the womanizer director claims) she was already being drugged, and forced to take therapy and many other things. and it makes me wonder, did she really wanna do the circus tour?

i cant help but feel that those tears were indeed of pain. - there she was, trapped in front of everyone and no one could notice, no one could help her and no-one would believe her. - i can't look at her career and feel the same anymore.

[G-unit]

I’ve never understood the claims that she’s crying in these photos.  They’re super grainy...you can’t see tears and there were no reports opening night from fans that she was crying while performing Circus.  Does anyone have high quality photos?

[Stefi Hilton]

you can see her eyes are swollen and she's pursing her lips like she's holding back the tears though

[Steel Magnolia]

I've always felt that, too.

[Nickey]

Also the few moments in 2010 where she's clearly had mini meltdowns. I found some info around the internet about this on some old forums so I'm posting some part of this here.

Quote

Rumors about Jason being unfaithful. There's a video of her punching him in the face in their car but I can't find it right now. It is also rumored that he would have partial rights in the conservatorship (thank god they split) This was also the time her dad confirmed to her that the conservatorship will be forever.

Quote

Britney, Jason and the kids went to Disney World for vacation and it spiraled down from there. People at the scene said Britney trapped herself in the hotel room and screaming at Jason violently. She was cussing and security was worried because the kids were there with her. She then ordered a pair of scissors and then chopped her hair into a small bob. People at the hotel said the toilet was clogged with hair and extensions.

 

Quote

Shortly after this video they put her on deep medication that changed her personality bizarrely. Even her physical appearance changed. Keep in mind Britney was also depressed because she wanted Femme Fatale to be an R&B inspired pop album the label forced her to do electronic which made her feel even more hopeless.

 

[G-unit]

Also from her testimony, while she did say she didn’t want to do the POM tour, she didn’t say anything about not wanting to do anything.  She said she just wanted a long break in-between POM and Domination.  She talked of her career with passion (“I’m GREAT at what I do”, “I take everything I do very seriously.” Etc.).  It was refreshing to hear her talk about her career (her dream from the time she was a little girl) with a sense of passion.  This has been her whole life since she was 17, it’s what she loves...but she’s at a point where she needs time to do normal things.  If anything, the less-than-stellar performances weren’t a result of disinterest in her career, but likely a result of whatever medication they put her on.  I don’t think we can let the conservatorship ruin the way we look at her career.  I’m sure she looks back on her achievements with pride. 

[nthenwkiss]

2 minutes ago, G-unit said:

Also from her testimony, while she did say she didn’t want to do the POM tour, she didn’t say anything about not wanting to do anything.  She said she just wanted a long break in-between POM and Domination.  She talked of her career with passion (“I’m GREAT at what I do”, “I take everything I do very seriously.” Etc.).  It was refreshing to hear her talk about her career (her dream from the time she was a little girl) with a sense of passion.  This has been her whole life since she was 17, it’s what she loves...but she’s at a point where she needs time to do normal things.  If anything, the less-than-stellar performances weren’t a result of disinterest in her career, but likely a result of whatever medication they put her on.  I don’t think we can let the conservatorship ruin the way we look at her career.  I’m sure she looks back on her achievements with pride. 

yes, i want that too; i guess that when she's free we'll know more and we'll know what she was looking forward to and what she didn't. i guess maybe at the end of the day she does love what she does, and maybe the love of her fans made it less terrible...