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Does anyone else here suffer from ptsd?


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Yes. When I was a small boy I was dying of kidney failure. The whole experience in the moment didn't seem any more concerning than having a cold because everyone kept telling me I was fine and that I wasn't as sick as I, myself, felt. Of course they were protecting me but it really scarred me. 

I was also s/xually assaulted in the ICU by a male nurse. I was too young to know what was happening to me and when you're in the ICU you're basically on your death bed. So I wasn't fully "there" in my mind or body. 

I made it through and my health came back. It took another 10 years of medicines and treatments, but I was deemed 100% recovered. 

I truly didn't think much of my experience until I was 18 at the dentist and the overhead light, with dentists utensils, the smell of sanitation, the shots, and the pain of the procedure brought it all back. I had a full on melt down and was balling my eyes out. It was my first time at any dr. Appt alone, so that made me feel worse. Progressively after that my flashbacks came back, i started to have major anxiety, panic attacks and depression. It got really bad to the point where my parents wanted to admit me to a hospital for my mental state. 

After years of different therapists, and medicines, I finally worked through it. I was on a good path for like 3-4 years until I recalled my s/x abuse. I watched a documentary and the whole scenario came to me. I remembered everything. I told my mom about it and for years she kept saying it didn't happen that I was so out of it that I may have dreamnt it. So again the ones that love me the most are telling me what Im feeling is wrong. 

It took about 4 years and I told her detail by detail and my sister and mom believed me. My mom found an old folder I had from when I was in the hospital and while going through it, she found a drawing that I had talked about in my account of the incident and she said she started to cry because thats when she really knew what happened to me and how she felt she really let me down. 

So Ive been working on that and that incident has been harder to work through. But I take pride within myself knowing that even though it's not an "easy fix", I continuously continue with therapy to hope one day I can come to terms with it all. 

 

 

Good luck to you! Be active and keep working on yourself. And let yourself feel all the feelings you have. The more you dive into them, the more raw and honest your experiences become and that helps get you one step closer to coping. Its not easy but know there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

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On 3/12/2021 at 5:32 AM, SloppyToppyGoddess said:

Yes. When I was a small boy I was dying of kidney failure. The whole experience in the moment didn't seem any more concerning than having a cold because everyone kept telling me I was fine and that I wasn't as sick as I, myself, felt. Of course they were protecting me but it really scarred me. 

I was also s/xually assaulted in the ICU by a male nurse. I was too young to know what was happening to me and when you're in the ICU you're basically on your death bed. So I wasn't fully "there" in my mind or body. 

I made it through and my health came back. It took another 10 years of medicines and treatments, but I was deemed 100% recovered. 

I truly didn't think much of my experience until I was 18 at the dentist and the overhead light, with dentists utensils, the smell of sanitation, the shots, and the pain of the procedure brought it all back. I had a full on melt down and was balling my eyes out. It was my first time at any dr. Appt alone, so that made me feel worse. Progressively after that my flashbacks came back, i started to have major anxiety, panic attacks and depression. It got really bad to the point where my parents wanted to admit me to a hospital for my mental state. 

After years of different therapists, and medicines, I finally worked through it. I was on a good path for like 3-4 years until I recalled my s/x abuse. I watched a documentary and the whole scenario came to me. I remembered everything. I told my mom about it and for years she kept saying it didn't happen that I was so out of it that I may have dreamnt it. So again the ones that love me the most are telling me what Im feeling is wrong. 

It took about 4 years and I told her detail by detail and my sister and mom believed me. My mom found an old folder I had from when I was in the hospital and while going through it, she found a drawing that I had talked about in my account of the incident and she said she started to cry because thats when she really knew what happened to me and how she felt she really let me down. 

So Ive been working on that and that incident has been harder to work through. But I take pride within myself knowing that even though it's not an "easy fix", I continuously continue with therapy to hope one day I can come to terms with it all. 

 

 

Good luck to you! Be active and keep working on yourself. And let yourself feel all the feelings you have. The more you dive into them, the more raw and honest your experiences become and that helps get you one step closer to coping. Its not easy but know there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

Thank you for sharing.

I'm glad your mom came to terms with it and i'm glad you didn't give up on your mom and made some steps to make her see it. It takes effort. You are really strong:canthandleit_cry_katy_sob_sad_tears:

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  • 1 month later...

I have ptsd from the horrible bullying at school from I was 7 and up until I was 14 before that I was being mentally and verbally abused and manipulated by my biological father at the age of 2-4 he always told me how my mom never loved me and he was going to find a new mom for me. They (him and his eldest sister) kept telling me I was going to move to Chile with him and I would never have to see my mom again. He always told me in the phone from I was 5 until I was 18 that he was the one betrayed by my mom, he always told me I was making him sad for not talking to him because my parents were “lying” about me not being home (I was at a friends house, school or sleeping whenever he called) I finally cut him out of my life three years ago when I was 18. I had finally had enough of his ways trying to turn me against my own mom, he even said she lied about when she met my dad (step-dad) but I know for a fact that it is true as we have picture proof of it... and I took my first steps that day to my grandpa. He always told me how my mom cheated on him and tried stealing me away and lied about everything and was the one kicking him out when in reality he called her a monster, threatened to kill my grandpa and tried multiple times to kidnap me and take me away from my mom every time I had to go to him I had a full on anxiety and panic attack... I was always told I was just like him and that I should’ve been killed long ago. I tried hanging myself at the age of 10 and the ones in my class said I did it for attention after they literally pushed me down the stairs multiple times, kicked me black and blue, broke my ribs and had me go to the ER three times on two weeks because of them. I was gone 70% of the time from 5-7th grade because I was scared of what they would do to me both at school and on the bus. I always faked being sick so I wouldn’t have to face them and get hurt. I always came home limping or barely crawling out of the bus, the teachers never did anything with it and the principal said there was no bullying happening at school and that I was lying. I had to go to the hospital because of them and every time I have to have gym I break down due to flashbacks of them purposely kicking a football into my face and then laughing at me, I’m scared to buy nice clothes because it was always stolen or broken when I had it. I still haven’t been to a psychologist because my whole family is telling me to just get over it. My friends think I’m just over dramatic... even those who witnessed it says I’m a crybaby

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9 hours ago, SuperUltra BaconCat said:

I have ptsd from the horrible bullying at school from I was 7 and up until I was 14 before that I was being mentally and verbally abused and manipulated by my biological father at the age of 2-4 he always told me how my mom never loved me and he was going to find a new mom for me. They (him and his eldest sister) kept telling me I was going to move to Chile with him and I would never have to see my mom again. He always told me in the phone from I was 5 until I was 18 that he was the one betrayed by my mom, he always told me I was making him sad for not talking to him because my parents were “lying” about me not being home (I was at a friends house, school or sleeping whenever he called) I finally cut him out of my life three years ago when I was 18. I had finally had enough of his ways trying to turn me against my own mom, he even said she lied about when she met my dad (step-dad) but I know for a fact that it is true as we have picture proof of it... and I took my first steps that day to my grandpa. He always told me how my mom cheated on him and tried stealing me away and lied about everything and was the one kicking him out when in reality he called her a monster, threatened to kill my grandpa and tried multiple times to kidnap me and take me away from my mom every time I had to go to him I had a full on anxiety and panic attack... I was always told I was just like him and that I should’ve been killed long ago. I tried hanging myself at the age of 10 and the ones in my class said I did it for attention after they literally pushed me down the stairs multiple times, kicked me black and blue, broke my ribs and had me go to the ER three times on two weeks because of them. I was gone 70% of the time from 5-7th grade because I was scared of what they would do to me both at school and on the bus. I always faked being sick so I wouldn’t have to face them and get hurt. I always came home limping or barely crawling out of the bus, the teachers never did anything with it and the principal said there was no bullying happening at school and that I was lying. I had to go to the hospital because of them and every time I have to have gym I break down due to flashbacks of them purposely kicking a football into my face and then laughing at me, I’m scared to buy nice clothes because it was always stolen or broken when I had it. I still haven’t been to a psychologist because my whole family is telling me to just get over it. My friends think I’m just over dramatic... even those who witnessed it says I’m a crybaby

You’re not a crybaby! You are strong and fierce, you just have to keep going FORWARD! Go to a psychologist, express your feelings, but you’re the only one capable to change your life! 

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Me. I have often nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes, when I am under super high levels of stress I get suicidal and when I try to sleep I get sleep paralysis. My ex abused me...basically in every way possible just not physically beaten me or killed me. but everything else

then when HE left me when he saw me as useless, idk.... it's...I feel like a clown. It lasted for 2.5 yrs and I've done so many humiliating, horrible **** to others because he told me to do it. I hate myself and I cut myself to feel better. I know it's not the solution but in my head I see it as- if I am as ugly as possible NO ONE will ever touch me, talk to me and abuse me. And as I did all these ****ty things to others, I deserve to be all covered in scars and stuff

I dont like talking about it because I am scared he is still somehow monitoring my media. I know he is not because I turned my laptop to the police last year but still...I'm scared af all the time. And it drains me.

 

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  • 2 months later...
  • Super Mods

Yes I do.

I got it from the trauma I had from my ex who emotionally, physically and mentally abused me.

He was living a double life of being my fiance and an extreme **** addict behind my back.

When I broke up with him, he physically assaulted me to the point where I thought I was gonna die.

And the sad thing is that he was my first love, fiance and experience.

I was only 21 yet now 7 years later, it STILL plays in my head like it happened yesterday!

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  • 5 months later...
On 3/8/2021 at 11:48 PM, MonAmour said:

I have been suffering from ptsd for 3 years now after a cancer surgery. Some days are a struggle to deal with and feels hopeless at times. Anyone else going through this?

I suffer after coming home from work and finding my mom deceased. It also caused me to have major social anxiety and it triggered more of the depression in my bipolar disorder.

Some days feel so impossible and some days I feel like I’m on cloud 9. It’s a struggle.

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