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Exhalers, what’s on your mind?


Urbanney

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I hate to say this but I don't really feel the pandemic really changed much for me. Sure, I see clients remotely now, but I'm still working the same way I have always been. In fact, with less travel time, I think my life has gotten easier. I'm used to going to work (which I love) and coming home to all my special things ... like my air purifier, water filter, lux bed etc... I've created the kind of home that's sustainable and which I love being surrounded in. What has been troubling me is ... if the kind of life I have cultivated creates such an uproar for other people (including mental health issues), I wonder if I'm truly living? I guess it is easier if I shared a bit of my life story. I have always been the kind of person that believed in true love. Saving yourself for marriage etc .... all that. I've been in love twice and been heart broken. I don't really see the appeal of it anymore. I'm perfectly content focusing on myself and happiness. In fact, I think mas******g is way more appealing than having ***. I guess I miss the affection and tenderness ... but I don't think I have it in my heart to love again or get married. It feels like such a fake institution. Then I wonder, what is living a life without love? Unless I constitute loving myself as discovering the biggest love of my life, then .... ok I guess I've accomplished that. So I'm not motivated by seeking love necessarily, or ***. My career seems great, but should I live a life where I focus on accumulating material things, money, being rich, and building power? That doesn't seem real or appealing either to me at least. It feels hallow. Friendships also seem superficial to a degree. I've had a lot of fake friends. At my age, most people also focus on their significant other and family. I've learned in life that friends come and go - they can't always be relied on. They don't always last. I don't want children either. I'm afraid to raise them in this cruel world or what if they experience trauma. I don't think I could handle that. So family is out of the question for me too. So I just feel that ... if I am living for myself, not for wealth, friendship, fame, or love ... then is this all that is meant for me in this life? I mean, I could travel, buy amazing things ... but there is that small "something" (not sure what that is) that feels missing and the fact that people feel so confined by their current circumstances, circumstances I always felt was ideal or even desirable, it has forced me to examine myself and my current circumstances. Am I truly living and if not, then what should I be living for?

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Kinda sad and worried about my professional future, and 28 yo and I didn’t find something that I’m truly passionate about, so I don’t have a degree yet on anything :overwhelm_beyonce_ashamed_lol_embarrassed_telling_talking:

i feel that I’m not good enough for anything :kyliecry_crying_tears_jenner_wipe_sad:

13 minutes ago, BUWYGF said:

Im not good at all at the moment. It looks like I might have jaundice and tomorrow im gonna get tested if I have Hepatitis (A,B or C). I got a lot of symtoms (my eyeballs are yellow-ish, dark urine, nausea etc.). Im very confused because all the hep types have similar symptoms, C being transmitted only through blood, which is impossible in my case so Im supposing it could be A or B. 

Either way I am extremely worried and I have no idea how I potentially got it nor what to expect. Pray for me yall :( Im getting tested tomorrow.

im sending you positive energy baby! Don’t worry! Everything it’s going to fine; you are strong :hugs_madonna_britney_ftr_2008_circus_hugging_friends_support:

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42 minutes ago, BUWYGF said:

Either way I am extremely worried and I have no idea how I potentially got it nor what to expect. Pray for me yall :( Im getting tested tomorrow.

Hi friend! Judging by your symptoms it’s looking like HBV as A is far less common and as you said, C is unlikely. The great news is that all, though critical, are treatable. Be very mindful of your digestive health moving forward and do what the doctors tell ya. You will be okay! :yeahhh_britney_oops_red_fist_cheer_yeah_smile_happy:

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Very thoughtful of you to ask and care, Jordan. 

I'm thinking about my family. We are very social and it's been difficult so I hope things get much, much better in general. But we are also practicing being more grateful for everything we have been given and are given everyday. We are more blessed than we realize.

 

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3 hours ago, BUWYGF said:

Im not good at all at the moment. It looks like I might have jaundice and tomorrow im gonna get tested if I have Hepatitis (A,B or C). I got a lot of symtoms (my eyeballs are yellow-ish, dark urine, nausea etc.). Im very confused because all the hep types have similar symptoms, C being transmitted only through blood, which is impossible in my case so Im supposing it could be A or B. 

Either way I am extremely worried and I have no idea how I potentially got it nor what to expect. Pray for me yall :( Im getting tested tomorrow.

Prayers!!  Hopefully you are just dehydrated.  Have you been drinking enough water? ?

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3 hours ago, BUWYGF said:

Im not good at all at the moment. It looks like I might have jaundice and tomorrow im gonna get tested if I have Hepatitis (A,B or C). I got a lot of symtoms (my eyeballs are yellow-ish, dark urine, nausea etc.). Im very confused because all the hep types have similar symptoms, C being transmitted only through blood, which is impossible in my case so Im supposing it could be A or B. 

Either way I am extremely worried and I have no idea how I potentially got it nor what to expect. Pray for me yall :( Im getting tested tomorrow.

Are you having any pain at all? If you are having back pain or and pain and your tests come back negative then maybe there could be a gallbladder issue.  A friend of mine got jaundice when he had gallstones and its common for people in their 20s and 30s. 

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In camp #notokay tbh. 15 months ago, I got new neighbours who have called me derogatory names since day one. The mother screamed me out in the street a few times this year over me being gay and her being on drugs. Bright side is they have finally been evicted and are out as of yesterday. A great Christmas present :yesplease_yas_agree_preach:

Also my aunt and pop were both diagnosed with different cancers and deemed terminally ill throughout the year. My pop died a month ago. It was right before my birthday and it sucks :disappointed_thinking_oh_okay_glasses:

But time presses on regardless and hopefully heals wounds. 
To anyone who is dealing with a hard time, I hope the best for you and that you find enjoyment and peace over the holiday period. You all deserve it. 

And if any of you want to talk about anything, I’m happy to listen. Nothing but love for you guys :hugs_madonna_britney_ftr_2008_circus_hugging_friends_support::kiss_britney_blowing_pink_candies:

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2 hours ago, jordeezy said:

Are you having any pain at all? If you are having back pain or and pain and your tests come back negative then maybe there could be a gallbladder issue.  A friend of mine got jaundice when he had gallstones and its common for people in their 20s and 30s. 

I do have backpain in my lower back, but i kind of always had this since i have an office job so even my personal trainer always said its just weak lower back muscles, which we worked on. But I must admit it did hurt more intensively lately, we'll see what the tests say.

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5 hours ago, Ofcoursenot said:

Kinda sad and worried about my professional future, and 28 yo and I didn’t find something that I’m truly passionate about, so I don’t have a degree yet on anything :overwhelm_beyonce_ashamed_lol_embarrassed_telling_talking:

Don't compare yourself to other people :mattafact_alligator_telling_talking_chatting_preaching_green: It's dangerous for your mental health. 

Tbh i was 29 when i started to work on my dreams, who cares what other people think, you can't do this, you can't do that, yeah, right, i've heard it so many times and you know what? They were always wrong! 

So with that note: chase and find your dreams, sis. :mattafact_alligator_telling_talking_chatting_preaching_green:

 

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5 hours ago, SUPERJACK said:

Hi friend! Judging by your symptoms it’s looking like HBV as A is far less common and as you said, C is unlikely. The great news is that all, though critical, are treatable. Be very mindful of your digestive health moving forward and do what the doctors tell ya. You will be okay! :yeahhh_britney_oops_red_fist_cheer_yeah_smile_happy:

Thank you so much :hugs_madonna_britney_ftr_2008_circus_hugging_friends_support: this answer truly made me feel better. The thing is, they're all ***ually transmitted but i ALWAYS use protection, so I have no idea how I might have gotten it :crying4_britney_crying_stages_tears_sad: not even my ***** broke, but I guess there's other ways, who knows :mhm_britney_nodding_yes_mhmm:

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5 hours ago, Ofcoursenot said:

Kinda sad and worried about my professional future, and 28 yo and I didn’t find something that I’m truly passionate about, so I don’t have a degree yet on anything :overwhelm_beyonce_ashamed_lol_embarrassed_telling_talking:

i feel that I’m not good enough for anything :kyliecry_crying_tears_jenner_wipe_sad:

im sending you positive energy baby! Don’t worry! Everything it’s going to fine; you are strong :hugs_madonna_britney_ftr_2008_circus_hugging_friends_support:

Thank you so so much baby :hugs_madonna_britney_ftr_2008_circus_hugging_friends_support: as for you being afraid for your future, dont be. This society tends to make us believe that by 30 we have to be accomplished, but those are different rules for a different times. Those applied to boomers and somewhat to gen x (our parents). Millennials and Gen Z now have the burden of suffering consequences and having to fix ignorant mistakes of our elders. You dont have to find yourself yet, youre still a young man. If youre ever interested in digital marketing I will be more than happy to give you an intro as you might find it interesting and its a well paid industry :mhm_britney_nodding_yes_mhmm:

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