Shawn Mendes misgendered Sam Smith and the Internet is outraged | Update: Shawn apologizes

[Hooked-On-Knee]

6 hours ago, IForgotYouExisted said:

And I don't care if it's offensive, I was raised and taught in school that 1 person can never be they or them.

It's taught in school that they/them can be used both singular and plural, its basic grammar rules.

[SlayOut]

11 minutes ago, Getnaked93 said:

Sam Smith is a man and he is a he.... period...

According to who?

[4EverIntoxicated]

I might get dragged for this, but that’s okay. 
 

“They” don’t even use the correct pronouns when talking about “themselves”. Sam Smith has popped up on my Facebook ads a few times, and if you look at the posts, “they” are always using the words “I” or “Me” when talking about “themselves”. And I’m using quotations because if I’m being honest, I truly don’t get it. I’d like to, but I don’t. I understand someone being transgender. I have actually always understood it, even as a kid. I accept everyone for who they are. Idk. 

[4EverIntoxicated]

1 hour ago, Hooked-On-Knee said:

It's taught in school that they/them can be used both singular and plural, its basic grammar rules.

Okay, that makes sense to me. I love what you did there 

[Alexanda]

Not that hard they say, but this person looks like a man, so? 

No one outside of Hollywood will get it right. 

 

[Alexanda]

I identify myself as a smartphone

[CaulkDestroyer]

I don't get the big fuss? I don't identify as a human. 

[Seel]

[Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho]

I consider myself woke but I really struggle with this. I respect people’s decision to use whatever pronouns they like and will do my best to honor them because I’m told it’s the right thing to do but I can’t help but wonder if we should all just use the “they” pronoun and drop the rest. I honestly worry about my ability to handle they, zey, ey, vey etc. I do t want to be rude but I literally don’t have the mental bandwidth for it. 

[SlayOut]

1 hour ago, Alexanda said:

According to his pe.nis. 

 

Maybe do some reading: https://www.bustle.com/articles/74316-12-questions-about-non-binary-gender-identity-youve-been-afraid-to-ask-and-real-answers

[SideSplits]

9 hours ago, amiro1989 said:

Shawn is a good reflection of what society understands of pronouns and gender. While I don't think his mistake was made willingly, he represents the vast majority of the population that does not understand gender and the importance of using the proper pronouns.

There's a lot of work left to do for gay rights, transgender rights, and really, mostly, education.

That's a great take! 

[SlayOut]

15 minutes ago, Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho said:

I do t want to be rude but I literally don’t have the mental bandwidth for it. 

For me, remembering someone’s pronouns is like remembering their name.

Like I wouldn’t want someone calling me, SlayOut, another name like, say, Lilith. That name literally has no meaning to me, i have no relationship to it, it doesn’t describe me, doesn’t refer to me... same with pronouns.

Nowadays if I’m meeting someone new, I’ll introduce myself with my name (SlayOut) and my pronouns (he/him). And the other person would tell me theirs, and I’ll make a mental note. If i see that person often, it’s engrained.

[HolyTrinity]

7 hours ago, SlayOut said:

Most people use pronouns when referring to or affirming their gender identity, whether they realize it or not. For me, I was assigned male gender at birth, and as I’ve grown, that still applies. Therefore, I’m considered a cisgender male (cisgender meaning the gender I was assigned at birth matches with my (male) gender identity). I also use (and have always used) he/him pronouns. When someone describes me, they’re say something like “He went to the store” or “this is his opinion”, etc.

For Sam Smith, they were assigned male at birth, and they had used he/him pronouns. As Sam grew and came to understand their gender identity, Sam realized that the male gender identity they were assigned at birth doesn’t apply anymore. Sam now identifies as non-binary, and now uses they/them pronouns instead of he/him pronouns. So, one would respect that by using Sam’s pronouns.

Better than my own explanation, here is Sam Smith talking about their gender identity:

Using someone’s correct pronouns, regardless of gender identity, is a simple way that someone can show respect for someone’s being/identity. Sam has been public and very open about their gender identity and their pronouns for some time now, so it’s really sad to see people in this thread still calling Sam a man, or misgendering Sam by using he/him pronouns.

In terms of Shawn Mendes, I don’t think what he did was intentional or meant to be malicious, but rather a simple mistake. It is unfortunate that neither Shawn nor his team were aware of Sam using they/them pronouns, after all this time of Sam confirming that. Shawn has apologized, which is the right thing to do.

I encourage many people in this thread who have intentionally mocked Sam’s pronouns or gender identity to educate themselves about gender pronouns and gender identity. This is a great beginners resource on the topic: https://www.them.us/story/gender-neutral-pronouns-101-they-them-xe-xem.

It’s taken me some time to learn about these things as well, and I’m definitely still learning and make mistakes from time to time. But overall, I know that being more informed and understanding makes me a better friend and colleague for those who identify as transgender or non-binary.

Wow thanks for the explanation. Really appreciate it!  

[JordansGutBucketBotto]

10 hours ago, amiro1989 said:

the vast majority of the population that does not understand gender and the importance of using the proper pronouns.

There's a lot of work left to do for gay rights, transgender rights, and really, mostly, education.

I'm gay af like i love to ate 3 ****s at the same time, but wtf it's this bull****...

Why are a part of lgtb colective triying to patronize the rest of people like a ******* cult??? be what you want, i don't ******* care, but if you want to be tolerated and accepted in society, be tolerant too, and don't pull the opression card as a ******* wildcard because don't you like something...

Human rights (yeah, "lgbtq rights" can't be more important than human rights, either way it's a privilege) isn't shaving your pronouns in everybody mouth like a ****, people like you simplifies what human rights really are with this SJW bull***... There's a lot, a lot of more important thing to work than your ******* pronouns

[SlayOut]

5 minutes ago, HolyTrinity said:

Wow thanks for the explanation. Really appreciate it!  

Of course! Thank you for taking the time to read it! 

[SlayOut]

1 minute ago, MoonLight28 said:

I'm gay af like i love to ate 3 ****s at the same time, but wtf it's this bull****...

Why are a part of lgtb colective triying to patronize the rest of people like a ******* cult??? be what you want, i don't ******* care, but if you want to be tolerated and accepted in society, be tolerant too, and don't pull the opression card as a ******* wildcard because do you like something...

Human rights (yeah, "lgbtq rights" can't be more important than human rights, either way it's a privilege) isn't shaving your pronouns in everybody mouth like a ****, people like you simplifies what human rights really are with this SJW bull***... There's a lot, a lot of more important thing to work than your ******* pronouns

You seem pretty triggered by something as simple as using someone’s correct pronouns.  

[JordansGutBucketBotto]

3 minutes ago, SlayOut said:

You seem pretty triggered by something as simple as using someone’s correct pronouns.  

I remember years ago when LGTB slogan was "no labels, be free"... but now it's the opposite... you have to label yourself like if real life was some kind of tumblr bull***, it's like being part LGTBQ+ it's the most identity some people can get... Personally I don't care, people can call me she, he, it, I don't care, i'm more than my gender

[Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho]

52 minutes ago, SlayOut said:

For me, remembering someone’s pronouns is like remembering their name.

Like I wouldn’t want someone calling me, SlayOut, another name like, say, Lilith. That name literally has no meaning to me, i have no relationship to it, it doesn’t describe me, doesn’t refer to me... same with pronouns.

Nowadays if I’m meeting someone new, I’ll introduce myself with my name (SlayOut) and my pronouns (he/him). And the other person would tell me theirs, and I’ll make a mental note. If i see that person often, it’s engrained.

Ok, I see what you mean. Respectfully, I’m curious about two questions; do you regularly deal with folk with pronouns that aren’t he/she/they and; what are your pronouns?

[SlayOut]

13 minutes ago, Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho said:

Ok, I see what you mean. Respectfully, I’m curious about two questions; do you regularly deal with folk with pronouns that aren’t he/she/they and; what are your pronouns?

My pronouns are he/him/his, and I’ve always identified as male.

Before the pandemic, I worked at an LGBTQ organization here in Los Angeles where I had 4 non-binary coworkers. All used they/them pronouns. I maybe struggled on the first day but aside from that, I learned to respect the pronouns they use.   Outside of my (former) colleagues, the people we worked with, and the people I went to college with, most of my family uses he/his or she/her pronouns.

[Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho]

19 minutes ago, SlayOut said:

My pronouns are he/him/his, and I’ve always identified as male.

Before the pandemic, I worked at an LGBTQ organization here in Los Angeles where I had 4 non-binary coworkers. All used they/them pronouns. I maybe struggled on the first day but aside from that, I learned to respect the pronouns they use.   Outside of my (former) colleagues, the people we worked with, and the people I went to college with, most of my family uses he/his or she/her pronouns.

Thank you for your reply. I think that maybe a lot of intolerant folks overplay the use of really exotic pronouns and maybe my comment played into that. Nobody has actually asked me to use ze, xe, ve in real life; even if they did I’d make it work and it’s not really a huge deal.