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Shawn Mendes misgendered Sam Smith and the Internet is outraged | Update: Shawn apologizes

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I always say live and let live. But let me live too, and by that I mean me use language that has no malicious intent and has been used for most of time to describe a man or a woman. As much as these people who are desperate to be special and unique wish there was more than 2 biological ***es (discounting the vast minority of hermaphrodites, who actually happen to have a scientific descriptor) there isn’t. He or she has no negative connotations and is used as a descriptor like any other. Wall, cat, pencil. Build a bridge and get over it.

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The internet mobs are awful. Half is horrible to Sam and hate on them for being non binary. The other half is hating on Shawn for what’s clearly an innocent mistake, he clearly didn’t say it maliciously. He should have had someone around to correct, but this should be a learning opportunity, not another chance to tear someone down. The internet is horrible to both of these artists all the time. And many others.

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3 hours ago, HolyTrinity said:

I don't get It. Educate me please. I don't understand the they/them thing.

Most people use pronouns when referring to or affirming their gender identity, whether they realize it or not. For me, I was assigned male gender at birth, and as I’ve grown, that still applies. Therefore, I’m considered a cisgender male (cisgender meaning the gender I was assigned at birth matches with my (male) gender identity). I also use (and have always used) he/him pronouns. When someone describes me, they’re say something like “He went to the store” or “this is his opinion”, etc.

For Sam Smith, they were assigned male at birth, and they had used he/him pronouns. As Sam grew and came to understand their gender identity, Sam realized that the male gender identity they were assigned at birth doesn’t apply anymore. Sam now identifies as non-binary, and now uses they/them pronouns instead of he/him pronouns. So, one would respect that by using Sam’s pronouns.

Better than my own explanation, here is Sam Smith talking about their gender identity:

Using someone’s correct pronouns, regardless of gender identity, is a simple way that someone can show respect for someone’s being/identity. Sam has been public and very open about their gender identity and their pronouns for some time now, so it’s really sad to see people in this thread still calling Sam a man, or misgendering Sam by using he/him pronouns.

In terms of Shawn Mendes, I don’t think what he did was intentional or meant to be malicious, but rather a simple mistake. It is unfortunate that neither Shawn nor his team were aware of Sam using they/them pronouns, after all this time of Sam confirming that. Shawn has apologized, which is the right thing to do.

I encourage many people in this thread who have intentionally mocked Sam’s pronouns or gender identity to educate themselves about gender pronouns and gender identity. This is a great beginners resource on the topic: https://www.them.us/story/gender-neutral-pronouns-101-they-them-xe-xem.

It’s taken me some time to learn about these things as well, and I’m definitely still learning and make mistakes from time to time. But overall, I know that being more informed and understanding makes me a better friend and colleague for those who identify as transgender or non-binary.

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4 hours ago, Jordan Miller said:Earlier:

Shawn Mendes gave Sam Smith a shout-out in a new promo video which aired on television, but in doing so referred to Sam as him/he instead of Sam's pronouns of they/them. 

Twitter had a field day with this one.Exhale,




See, maybe if every person was as sensible and genuine like this, this world would be a better place. Ugh :tiffsniffle_ny_miss_new_york_crying_sobbing_sad_tears:

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Unless Shawn proactively follows Sams life to the nines, I’m sure he wouldn’t know that Sam is now “they/them” also this is jingle balls fault because they could have corrected him, instead they let him roll with it. So if you should attack anyone it’s the production team who should know their acts! Also it’s not a big deal! Build a bridge and get over it 

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This made me mad... at Sam Smith. It's not Shawn's fault if he doesn't know that Sam Smith identifies as non-binary. I mean who actually keeps up with Sam Smith these days aside from his hardcore stans?

Shawn made a mistake sure, but I feel like Sam's at fault too for this non-binary mind game that they play; I said this before, but they seemed completely content with identifying as a gay man just a few years ago, so the sudden shift last year seemed disingenuous to me.

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6 hours ago, HolyTrinity said:

I don't get It. Educate me please. I don't understand the they/them thing.

It basically means that Sam Smith has both a male and a female personas in his mind, and that he (for me he's a He ^^) goes from being a man to a woman as he wishes. For me it's just stupid. You have a peepee you're a He, you have a Kooka you're a She. End of story. And sick of all the sensibilities with Generation Z. 

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