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Please keep Exhale a positive place


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2 hours ago, Blackout2006 said:

I hardly talk of him. Once it was with @aleomg and from there on, it stopped. I only talk of him when he is quoted. And I have never made fun of his opinion. If he sides with Trump, it isn’t my problem because my problem was how much denial he was in, the misinformation he spreads, the very ignorant things he has said and so. I do agree that ganging up against him (which I have never taken part off) was wrong from the other people side but Puertorico came to A 7 MONTH OLD DRAMA THREAD and downvoted every post of mine there. I hardly downvote him and I have given like around 15 downvotes, but he gave 35-45 DOWNVOTES that day. And for what? Something that was none of his business because never except for YannFrance have I ever gone on a downvoting spree, especially on Puertorico and he still has the audacity to go to a thread which I don’t prefer to remember, downvoted all the post I made and left . He used the downvoting button to vent his anger and frustration, not to actually show he “disagrees” with someone because I have been witness to that. In all the various dramas I have been in, the people that were against me were the ones only downvoting me but I on the other hand never pressed the downvoting button, so I am in the position to speak about it. I wasn’t salty about the situation that too, but since the topic WAS brought up, I also decided to give my 2 cents about it since I was quite pissed at it. So stop defending him and probably mind yr own business for someone who is guilty of sing the downvoting button for no reason. :mcwave_mariah_Carey_kiss_bye_goodbye_wave:

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2 hours ago, Jordan Miller said:

Yea I love the idea of sending a DM before any moderation action is taken against, but sometimes there are instances where an Exhaler clearly broke a rule and so warning points are issued. But I do like the idea of supplementing that with a DM. 

Being a moderator is a thankless and TOUGH job. I know a lot of people want to criticize us, but being a moderator puts a target on your back for some reason (which I don't think is right). Really, moderators are here to help you and help the forum run smoothly. 

But yea I do like your suggestion a lot! 

Thanks for considering it. I only think that maybe sometimes if we DM them and ask what is going on, it could be fixed. Yeah, some stuff I do understand you have no choice but to give warning points right there on the spot. But certain other stuff, or even just a mod arguing with a user, or 2 users arguing, the mod should step in and say, "Hey, let's cool it for a sec. Okay, what's going on? Let's hear your side." and hear the other side too and come up with a resolution. 

I've seen A LOT of exhalers argue with mods and I don't blame them. Several just think no matter what they're always right. No ifs ands or buts. They even go about insulting them publicly. It just leaves us exhalers to disrespect them even more. But sometimes if the mod just says," OK lemme DM you. Let's do this privately and find a solution. The other exhalers shouldn't see this argument and think bad of you or me, a mod." 

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6 hours ago, Jordan Miller said:

Downvotes were being abused. Some members would go and downvote literally every post another member was making. There's a reason why literally no other social media or website in general has downvotes. It's only encouraging people to fight / argue with one another. I'm not ruling out they make a return in the future, but for now they're going to remain disabled. If you disagree with someone, thoughtfully explain why in a comment versus downvoting please. Appreciate you understanding. 

And how many people actually do that? You mention some members but that is a very small minority. This move (removing downvotes) has made it really difficult to want to stick around. Guaranteed moves like this has made so many people rethink about sticking around here. 

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Genuinely curious. Why are people putting so much energy into one button. Like I get the freedom of speech and expression thing but playing devils advocate wouldn't actually using your freedom of speech and putting into words what you dislike or disagree with (respectfully of course)be more effective? 

I think it would make the forum more interesting to hear opposing sides and its how we learn and grow to hear other peoples thoughts. It doesn't have to be holding hands and hugs but what is it about a thumbs down button that matters so much?  Again im just genuinely curious. 

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You'll never see it my way because you're not me -Britney 

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12 hours ago, Busybee said:

Genuinely curious. Why are people putting so much energy into one button. Like I get the freedom of speech and expression thing but playing devils advocate wouldn't actually using your freedom of speech and putting into words what you dislike or disagree with (respectfully of course)be more effective? 

I think it would make the forum more interesting to hear opposing sides and its how we learn and grow to hear other peoples thoughts. It doesn't have to be holding hands and hugs but what is it about a thumbs down button that matters so much?  Again im just genuinely curious. 

It’s because the ones complaining are the ones who abuse it :tiffanynod_miss_ms_ny_new_york_yes_yas_nodding_agree: they’re pressed they can’t downvote people supporting the releases. Also some of the people that would keep arguments going on end have stopped because they can’t downvote. It’s like if they can’t downvote they don’t waste energy arguing with you. :weusay_tiffany_cackle_cackling_chuckle_giggle_lol_haha_hehe_laugh:

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21 hours ago, Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho said:

Mkay, good luck with that sweetie. :cheese_Britney_awkward_cringe_eek:

You may want to have a chat with your moderators though, because one of them had previously assured me (@Urbanney in this very thread) that they agreed with me and that basically my comment was spot on. No shade but I feel you and your team should be on the same page, especially when your trying to enforce this new happy-faces only policy. :gagasmile_smirk_lady_pink:

Well, ironically we have discussed this and Jordan took that into consideration when he removed the button. Also, ironically people are rarely reporting posts anymore because there are less pointless fights. If someone feels sooo compelled to disagree with someone then I’d say just quote that person or move on. 

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On 12/3/2020 at 6:47 AM, monkeystar88 said:

@jordamiller roxxy made fun of my bipolar disorder and her friends laughed at it. She said no one cares about you or your opinion(on here) you should just KILL YOURSELF and you made her a moderator. I've never heard her say sorry despite she "moderates" bullying. 

Okay not to take away from your experience but, i posted some stuff about my mental health issues and life in general in @Roxxy's topics she did for that month (the song relation one) and she was really supportive, when she replied you could tell the comment had been thought about and not rushed.

@Roxxy was careful not to upset the topic but also respectful enough not to just throw a carpet comment over it. She never held it against me or others that also posted there struggles. It was a good time to know your not alone and supported!

Maybe if you feel that type of way then discuss it with @Roxxy or if you don't feel that it will be taken seriously have either people like @Jordan Miller or @Slayer mediate between both of you.  For example in a group DM that the moderator lets both sides voice there issues and then you can reach a conclusion.

Alot of the times its just miscommunication!

I know how people can feel that there illnesses is used against them when there so open about it, so even if you feel there's another time in the future that something like this happens DM me and we can talk it through. Just know that support is there for you (from one sufferer to another <3)

- Alestaos

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On 12/7/2020 at 10:26 AM, MortalMarshmallow said:

Agree. It's not even appealing to vote rn because not having a choice to express yourself full-scale is boring, superficial, and suppressive :sipney_britney_starbucks_straw_sipping_drinking_spill:.

Like why should others control that my opinions cant differ from others just because some members are butthurt over getting down votes :squintney_britney_confused_huh_what_umm_ok_glory:.

If these people are aiming to be highly popular they are basing their worth and value through external measures, when in reality they should learn to stand by and love themselves internally despite whatever downvotes they get. It's like confirming a right to silence others when they dont act like you want them to act. That's not even an ideological approach for raising children.

Some ppl in here are afraid of losing "power" because they think their reputation in here is a big deal, and when people disagree they cant handle it and that has to affect all members now because some are hypersensistive to objections :plzexplain_britney_karaoke_carpool_confused_oh_okay_hmm_nod_eyebrows_raised:.

In politics you are allowed to express disagreement, otherwise there would be no democracy and freedom of speech. If you trash talk or bully in here, sure send warnings, but a thumb down is harmless. Small rejections happen everyday; you dont go to your manager and complain to him that other people have other ideas and visions than yourself, and the manager tells them to stop expressing themselves :xcuseme_mad_say_what_hmm_confused:. That's unproductive. 

 

I'm sure people like @PuertoRicosFinest and who was it YannFrance? etc had way more downvotes than other votes, and people have definitely ganged up on them as seen in numerous comments as well, all over the place.

Just like you mention Puerto now to actually call him out on what you perceive as his bad behaviour? Is that okay to bash people for their right to express themselves, you actually talk trash about him for using an approved option.

I dont think none of these people whine over downvotes because they respect other people's free will to do that. I hope you will not be salty with me now because i said what i felt like bae update GIF

Although I see your point, you can still quote a post and absolutely disagree with it. The downvotes were childish, because you didn't even know why the person downvoted you, they didn't open a congruent discussion. And no, honestly I wasn't downvoted more than maybe 4 times since I came here, so it has nothing to do with me trying to preserve a reputation or anything like that. I still can't go and buy a house with my reputation points 😂

I just think there are smarter, more communicative ways of interacting and disagreeing with one another. 

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3 hours ago, Bigno said:

Although I see your point, you can still quote a post and absolutely disagree with it. The downvotes were childish, because you didn't even know why the person downvoted you, they didn't open a congruent discussion. And no, honestly I wasn't downvoted more than maybe 4 times since I came here, so it has nothing to do with me trying to preserve a reputation or anything like that. I still can't go and buy a house with my reputation points 😂

I just think there are smarter, more communicative ways of interacting and disagreeing with one another. 

Also, now there’s no need to bother following up on reaction notifications because you’ll know they’re positive for sure. I’m not sure that’s what was intended or what Jordan was hoping for but it’s an outcome nonetheless. A key part of the user experience is that dopamine hit we get from notifications but now that that’s lessened I guess I’ll be less fiendish about checking up on them.

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4 hours ago, Alestaos said:

Okay not to take away from your experience but, i posted some stuff about my mental health issues and life in general in @Roxxy's topics she did for that month (the song relation one) and she was really supportive, when she replied you could tell the comment had been thought about and not rushed.

@Roxxy was careful not to upset the topic but also respectful enough not to just throw a carpet comment over it. She never held it against me or others that also posted there struggles. It was a good time to know your not alone and supported!

Maybe if you feel that type of way then discuss it with @Roxxy or if you don't feel that it will be taken seriously have either people like @Jordan Miller or @Slayer mediate between both of you.  For example in a group DM that the moderator lets both sides voice there issues and then you can reach a conclusion.

Alot of the times its just miscommunication!

I know how people can feel that there illnesses is used against them when there so open about it, so even if you feel there's another time in the future that something like this happens DM me and we can talk it through. Just know that support is there for you (from one sufferer to another <3)

- Alestaos

She didn’t tell him that and he keeps bringing it up any chance he gets. I think it’s pretty disgusting to spread such blatant lies like that about somebody 

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30 minutes ago, Haha-Hehe-Haha-Ho said:

Also, now there’s no need to bother following up on reaction notifications because you’ll know they’re positive for sure. I’m not sure that’s what was intended or what Jordan was hoping for but it’s an outcome nonetheless. A key part of the user experience is that dopamine hit we get from notifications but now that that’s lessened I guess I’ll be less fiendish about checking up on them.

Wait so you got a rush from downvotes? :omggg_shocked_hand_old_lady_woman_surprised:

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I've been here for months now, and maybe I already accepted the fact that this place is not far from any virtual communities, toxicity speaking.

Being shady is part of pop culture, but there's a big difference of completely being disrespectful. Especially how some moderators never had a second thought of taming their own words, and even attacking some users personally (I had my cases).

I wished there's a some sort of a timeout feature, so if there's any drama, we could simply block someone. Forbidding them to comment or react to the blocker's thread. I mean, most of the communities and social medias have this feature. 

Spoiler

Now let's see who gets the most blocked. :rihannayas_weave_pull_cocky_smirk_proud:

 

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