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I want to know what I do wrong on IG


Theo04t

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On IG i don't usually post things, I just upload stories, and my stories are just like 4-7 a day, and I usually post maybe 2-3 things that happened to me that day, 3 tiktoks that I found funny and maybe something related to music, but, this last year like 30-40 people that I know personally have unfollowed me since I became more active on stories, and countless other unknown people

I know that I can't make everyone happy but when somebody unfollows me, specially somebody that I know personally and that I follow back, I feel so rejected and bad, and I want to know what can I do to stop that from happenning, maybe post less, maybe post more? I don't know to be honest

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Personally, I quit social media for a variety of reasons but you mentioned some of mine. Rejection doesn’t feel great but at the same time we should be free to express however we feel. It seems that everyone on social media is currently hyper sensitive right now. Maybe some of your posts are found offensive? Not serious enough? Depends on the person. Its hard not to take it personally when you actually know the person that unfollowed you. 

 

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I don't want to judge them but those I know personally have never unfollowed me - even my ex's and and their families. :idkney_britney_glory_carpool_karaoke_unsure_idk_nervous:

Maybe they were never your friends to begin with? I don't know but i'm a pretty loyal bixxh so I would never unfollow anyone unless we had like a falling out or something. I also give free likes to everyone I follow (i only follow 194 people) regardless of whether or not I like what i'm seeing. 

To me, I follow them cause I love them / they matter to me so I feel it's part of supporting someone is to give Likes and watch their stories. :barbie_hair_flip_hairflip_weave_proud_cocky:

I've had a couple of unfollowers lately but i'm not sure how many, and I know the reason for that is cause I haven't been posting anything since I got hospitalized (except for like one photo and a few IG stories) so I understand if my followers (who I do not know) will unfollow me. Before August, I post IG stories regularly of me singing and whatever and there's only been one or two of that in the last 70 days. :imacat_cat_hiss_meme_white_kitty_mad:

I believe, when it comes to social media - never overthink. And second... when in doubt, DON'T post.

But sometimes, it's not even your fault. Maybe they're just haters. The people who love you and support you and enjoy your content WILL STAY no matter what. :bigkiss_britney_kissing:

You know there's this college friend of mine, we were like really close and tbh I did feel hurt when he unfollowed me for no reason and then when I switched to private, here he comes with a Follow Request and i'm like MHM... he's now rotting together with my ex's current girlfriendsss on the Follow Requests bin.  :tiffdrink_miss_ms_ny_new_york_drinking_sips_sipping_tea_straw:

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Hope this doesn't sound harsh as I have only the best intentions, but consider giving yourself a break. If your mind is occupied and worried over why someone's unfollowed you and you begin to blame yourself for that reason, then I think that's a sign of too much social media.

Of course, that's not your fault; it's just the way social media operates. The sooner you realise the strains it puts on your mental health, the better you will become at tackling the source of them. Maintaining online identity to appeal to others is an exhaustive thing to do and we're simply not programmed to do that.

Give yourself a break, but start slowly. By all means, keep track of how you're feeling each day. It sucks in the first month but once you learn to let go of things, you'll feel much much better. Observe your behaviour, how your needs change, how your attitude towards life changes.

This is coming from someone who used to be self-conscious, didn't have any confidence, blamed himself for who he was, and constantly compared himself to other people which in the end had a negative effect on his mental health.

It''s been almost 4 years since I've cut down on social media and I haven't felt better to be fair with you. The feeling of not having to own up to people's expectations is great! You learn how valuable you are and the self-blaming eventually disappears. 

P.S. This is from my own perspective, of course. Social media has a lot of positives as well but I'm trying to say that it's not meant for everybody and in the long run it may have more negatives than positives. The important thing is to know yourself well and consider carefully if that's something that you really want or it's simply coming from an outside source. 

P.P.S. Btw, thanks to me giving up on social media, I lost contact with my people I considered friends at the time. That's not a bad thing because it was like a filter for me to realise who my closest pals are and stick to them.

P.P.P.S. Same goes for dating apps.

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Sorry for the bad experience @Theo04t

For me, I just expect to lose followers on social media because that's part of "churn rate." You gain some, then you lose some. Just aim to gain a few more than you lose and you're good :) 

If someone unfollows you then it's good - you only want people to follow you who love your content. The ones peacing out aren't your people ;] 

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