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Am I being too picky?


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I have been looking for someone to love since I was 14. Since I was 14! This is getting old. I’m 24 now and it feels like I will never find love. 

I see all my friends get in and out of relationships all the time. They find them so quickly. 

I’ve been in a few relationships as well, but usually I run away before it gets too heavy. I just decide I don’t like the guy or the way he treated me so I dip. This was true except for last year. I dated this immaculate 40 year old with a body like a Greek god for 9 months and it was the most torturous 9 months of my life. That experience changed me forever but that’s not the topic at hand. 

I just feel like maybe I am destined to be alone otherwise. Why is it so hard for me?

I go on a lot of dates but usually I’m just not interested in these guys when I meet them (and don’t say I am asexual cuz I’m not, I hook up a lot).

I just want to feel that magical feeling when I meet this guy - it’s love at first sight - you know what I mean? I know what that feels like and I know that it is far and few in between. 

I got so much plastic surgery and now the only guys that come after me are ones I was never interested in to start with. It feels like running a race I will never win.

 

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I say don’t stress too much about it. You really are young as I’m just the same and I’m 32. I used to think like that too but after seeing how toxic my parents relationship is and how many of my frien

I have been looking for someone to love since I was 14. Since I was 14! This is getting old. I’m 24 now and it feels like I will never find love.  I see all my friends get in and out of relations

Don’t Give Up, Your Only 24, Your Still Young Have Many Years Left To Find Love.         I Gave Up On Love, And Even Though I’m Still Young, I Never Regretted Doing That For A Second. But, Not Every

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I say don’t stress too much about it. You really are young as I’m just the same and I’m 32. I used to think like that too but after seeing how toxic my parents relationship is and how many of my friends who get into relationships quickly also suffer financially or mentally. My sister is the type that can’t stand being alone so she would hop on one guy to the next. Everyone is different with different needs and it’s alright to want to feel loved, we are meant to connect with each other. 

After going on a lot of dates and even bad ones...and being in the same situations as you, I realize there’s no real formula. Look how people who are married get divorced after 30 years of marriage, love is always complicated I mean some people get married out of convenience so I feel like stress less about finding the right guy and just enjoy your dates. Whenever you force the expectation of finding someone, it won’t turn out the way you want. Look how Britney wanted to create her dream family life with Kfed and look how that turned out. Confidence is always key and doesn’t matter if you are attractive or not, people like someone who is very secure with themselves and I wished I told my younger self that. I mean it’s chemistry right? Finding the right one and it’s important that the other half feels the same because the other half also have to be onboard too, you can’t force it. Start from within first, learn to love yourself and nurture yourself, people can see that even if you don’t notice it and it’s what draws people in. You seem to get the physical part down, let’s work on the emotional part because it is important to get into a relationship with a healthy mindset.
 

 

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Don’t Give Up, Your Only 24, Your Still Young Have Many Years Left To Find Love.  
      I Gave Up On Love, And Even Though I’m Still Young, I Never Regretted Doing That For A Second. But, Not Everyone Is Like That.  And Even If You Find The Love Of Your Life At 24 Or 94, Or Anywhere In Between, If It’s True Love You It Will Feel Right.  
And If You Don’t, Thats Fine Too.  To Each Their Own, Some Find Love And Some (Like Myself)  Don’t And Thats Ok.

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On 6/20/2020 at 12:43 PM, TheySayImCrazy18 said:

Don’t Give Up, Your Only 24, Your Still Young Have Many Years Left To Find Love.  
      I Gave Up On Love, And Even Though I’m Still Young, I Never Regretted Doing That For A Second. But, Not Everyone Is Like That.  And Even If You Find The Love Of Your Life At 24 Or 94, Or Anywhere In Between, If It’s True Love You It Will Feel Right.  
And If You Don’t, Thats Fine Too.  To Each Their Own, Some Find Love And Some (Like Myself)  Don’t And Thats Ok.

I think because society has in grained in our minds that we have to find someone or else you become the doomed “spinster” and no one wants that. Like “aw look at them, unable to find someone how sad.” Like it’s a bad thing and we honestly gotta get out of that mindset that being alone is not a bad thing and shouldn’t be looked down. It’s why we’re over populated and overspending because everyone thinks they need to have a family and especially women feeling they have an expiration date so need to procreate ASAP. 

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Just now, puppylo16 said:

I think because society has in grained in our minds that we have to find someone or else you become the doomed “spinster” and no one wants that. Like “aw look at them, unable to find someone how sad.” Like it’s a bad thing and we honestly gotta get out of that mindset that being alone is not a bad thing and shouldn’t be looked down. It’s why we’re over populated and overspending because everyone thinks they need to have a family and especially women feeling they have an expiration date so need to procreate ASAP. 

As A Gay Man, I Feel This Especially.  In The LGBTQ+ Community I Feel As We Were So Oppressed For Many Years When It Came To Marriage.  Now, It Is Something Many Gay & Queer People Are Very Judgemental About.  Don’t Get Me Wrong, I Love The Community, But There Is Such A Stigma About Marriage.  It Isn’t Taken For Granted, Which Is Good, But Also, For People Like Myself Who Don’t Wanna Be In A Relationship, I Do Feel Judged.  Wow, That Was A Deep, Personal Think To Share On The Internet Lmao.  Well I Said What I Said Lmao.

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2 hours ago, TheySayImCrazy18 said:

As A Gay Man, I Feel This Especially.  In The LGBTQ+ Community I Feel As We Were So Oppressed For Many Years When It Came To Marriage.  Now, It Is Something Many Gay & Queer People Are Very Judgemental About.  Don’t Get Me Wrong, I Love The Community, But There Is Such A Stigma About Marriage.  It Isn’t Taken For Granted, Which Is Good, But Also, For People Like Myself Who Don’t Wanna Be In A Relationship, I Do Feel Judged.  Wow, That Was A Deep, Personal Think To Share On The Internet Lmao.  Well I Said What I Said Lmao.

Haha don’t worry I experienced it myself and seen friends feel pressured or get judged. Sometimes I feel people should just mind their own business. Hopefully people can calm down after this and we all come

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On 6/19/2020 at 3:30 PM, Britneyspearsandmlol said:

I need to find the one lol I’m so lonely 

 

I took accutane for my acne 

 

laser hair removal on my chest

 

nose job and  then filler in my jaw and cheeks 

That’s not bad at all! My uncles a plastic surgery and he says that there are so many people that get SO MUCH plastic surgery even if it’s not noticeable 

also that plastic surgery shouldn’t be a shameful thing!

u do u king :kiss:

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You're not alone @Britneyspearsandmlol. Love is hard to find because it takes a lot of perfect circumstances to align for it to happen. Most importantly, you have to be open to it. It sounds like you are, but deep down do you feel at all like you're not worthy of being loved? Some times I think that about myself. 'Who would want to be with me I'm such an intense and exhausting person?' But I smack myself out of it when I notice myself going down that rabbit hole :rupaulslap: Just means I need someone who has a lot of energy and patience :haha: 

You'll fall in love. Just keep putting it out there ;)  

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Im shook. I feel famous now lol jks. 
 

I mean I guess it’s nice to know that we all suffer the same insecurities and we all want to be loved. What I hate tho is it always feels like I am climbing an uphill battle. I am not actively looking for love or trying to force a puzzle piece. I know I’m good on my own but I see all my friends falling in and out of love and it always makes me think it’s me. 
 

i feel like in the gay world it’s so easy to have ***. But then if you want things to get real it’s so much harder. 

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Honestly I feel u OP

16 hours ago, martini88 said:

I’m in the same boat, I’m 32. It’s already difficult in our world to find someone who believes in true love and want to be monogamous. Almost doesn’t exist!

it's true everyone wants open or gets bored and it's so annoying. But then again i never focus on getting a relationship i dont really try and then i just hook up 

But i know in my heart true love exists I know it I can feel it 

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It's totally fine that you don't compromise for anyone , but also try to be a bit more open and patient , you're still young (we're at the same age) don't look at the negatives because that will always keep you away from people, no one is perfect and there will always be some turn offs even in the most perfect relationship , and let's be honest finding true love is really hard, but my advice would be - go with your heart , don't commit to guys that you are not in love with, but once comes that guy who makes you feel really in love and gives you that feeling no one else can give you then peruse it and fight for it . If some men turn you down because you've done plastic surgery they're judgemental and not worthy of your love , they're probably feel intimidated but that's their problem not yours . So I don't think you're too picky , just don't close your heart. 

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