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Long story, I’m sorry...but I just need some advice.

So a little over a week ago, I went to a Christmas party at a friend’s house.  I get there and a guy I used to crush on HARD was there.  I sort of forgot that he existed because it’s been about two years since I had seen him and I had really gotten over the crush (he stopped working at a restaurant I used to frequent so I never really saw him anymore).  Anyway, this guy and I really don’t know each other, other than the few little conversations here and there.  Never had any inkling that he was gay or anything like that.  Thought I had this ridiculous crush on a hot straight guy (story of my life).

So, at this party, we all get a little drunk.  I’m there downing straight Fireball like the champ I used to be in college lol.  Next think I know, he and I and a bunch of my friends are out on the back deck chain smoking.  He makes a comment that he thinks he’s fat...I take that opportunity to flat out tell him I think he is “**** as hell”.  He then proceeds to grab me around the waist when I go to walk back inside and pulls me onto his lap.  We started making out.  A LOT and in front of everyone.  He whispers to me in the middle of all of this “I’m not out” while laughing and sort of pulling away, but always going back in to kiss me more.  I try to stop and for whatever reason he keeps making out with me.

At some point there was some dirty dancing (which I don’t remember but a friend told me all about lol) and he asked me to go to the bathroom with him.  I remember this part vividly.  We went into a bedroom that was connected to a bathroom.  He goes in and shuts the door. I waited outside saying all types of ****** bullshit because I was drunk and wanted him lol.  He comes out and pushes me onto the bed and started making out with me more and there was some fondling...but that was it.

Fast forward to now.  I am just confused lol.  The crush I had is back and stronger than before because now we’ve actually done **** together and I actually really like him as a person.  I sent him a Facebook message and friend request a few days after the party.  I basically apologized for everything that happened because I felt bad that we were full-blown sucking face in front of everyone and he told me he wasn’t out (did I mention his mother was there and saw everything?  She’s lesbian so I’m sure she’s not too bent out of shape, but still awkward lol).  He took a really long time to respond to the message.  I thought he had me on ignore, but after like 4 days he finally responded that everything was cool and that “we will all chill again sometime”.  He then accepted my friend request.

If you were in my shoes what would you do?  I so badly wanna message him and ask him to hang out, but I’m afraid that he will say no and he will think I’m coming on too strong.  Do I let it go and accept that we’ve formed some type of friendship from all of this?  Or do I just go for it and ask him out?  I feel like with him not being out, maybe he won’t go for it...or maybe he isn’t even gay and just did all that **** because he was wasted? 

thanks in advance

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