I Used a Fake ID to Scam My Way into Britney Spears Day

[britneyausfan]

this is literally the funniest/best/saddest/true article about Britney

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/night-of-a-hundred-britneys-117

[ohoney]

Exhalers in a nutshell.  

[britneyausfan]

As soon as the cray-cray melee began, Britney's body became visibly stiff with fear. She put her hands behind her back and assumed the position of someone about to walk the plank.

"Britney! Britney! We love you, Britney! Britney! Britney Britney!" Then she approached the pod loading area with her security detail, and we all wailed involuntarily.

We rushed into the pod like ravenous hogs, and she made eye contact with nary a single Britney. With expert precision, she flashed a smile and posed for the millisecond it would take to get a promo shot with us, and then hauled *** out of there before any of us could process what had just happened. We, the Britneys, should have known better than this. She's expressed in multiple documentaries that she is "shy" and "just wants to be able to walk around the mall." We've watched her, since the beginning of the K-Fed dynasty, make attempt after attempt to sleep her way to the bottom. Britney Spears hates being famous. She wants out, but as she's gotten older, she's resigned herself to the fact that there's no escaping. She's been Miss American Dream since she was 17, so she sates us with the smallest possible piece of her. This is why we love her unconditionally, why we root for her, why we defend her at all costs. This is also the ouroboros that keeps the Britney machine running: The more of a reluctant superstar she is, the more we love her, which makes her more reluctant, which makes us love her more.

[Draw The Blinds]

I was annoyed to find that they were not limiting access to the Britney corral to Britneys only: Two attractive gay men in expensive sunglasses faced the stage in front of me. Ugh. These frauds. Some of us had bought a fake ID for this. One of the gay guys turned around and complimented me on my Uggs, which made me like them because there was plenty of Ugg competition that night. "What are you drinking?" asked one. I held up my Coors Light. The other one rolled his eyes, disappointed. "No hard alcohol?" They both wrote me off completely. This, more than their given gender or birth names, proved to me that they were not real Britneys. Since I was alone, I bought a tall boy of Coors Light so that I could make sure I was attracting the right kind of people.

 

 

This girl honestly sounds a bit crazy 

 Girl, what kind of people were you expecting to attract at a Britney event? Sit the **** down... 

[Mr. Lucky]

I literally cried with laughter when she explained how this photo came to be:

 

Quote

"Britney! Britney! We love you, Britney! Britney! Britney Britney!" Then she approached the pod loading area with her security detail, and we all wailed involuntarily.

We rushed into the pod like ravenous hogs, and she made eye contact with nary a single Britney. With expert precision, she flashed a smile and posed for the millisecond it would take to get a promo shot with us, and then hauled *** out of there before any of us could process what had just happened.  

The more lucid Britneys exited the pod, but the rest of us were still in there when the doors closed. "Wait!" yelled a Britney. 

"What's going on? Do we seriously have to ride this thing? It takes 45 minutes to go around." 

"It's Britney's gift to us," offered a Britney, sadly. 

We had been riding in silence for a few minutes when "Lucky" came on the monitors. Britney videos began playing on the screens. Not even this cheered us up.

"This song gives me chills," remarked a Britney, and we all nodded in agreement and began singing along: "She's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries, cries, cries in her lonely heart."

As we floated, trapped in a claustrophobic bubble, high above the rest of the world,

I couldn't help wondering if Britney had done this to teach us a lesson. 

 

lolololololol

 

CLASSIC  Britney. 

[SomeoneGimmeBritney]

This could literally sum up 99.9% of Exhale.

[Puppy]

Well in her defense, I would be afraid to be trapped in filled with die hard fans not knowing what they would do to me and not being able to escape. Thought I can feel their pain, it was misleading.

[BLΛƆKPIИK]

"We're meeting ******* Britney! We're meeting ******* Britney!"

"My weave!" yelped a Britney.

"I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out!" panicked another. A different Britney handed her a Xanax.

"Who has gum? Who has gum?" begged a Britney. "I've had so much wine!" 

"Britney won't care. Britney won't care," I assured her.

"You guys! You guys! Work ***** hat or no Work ***** hat?" I implored of my Britney brethren.

"No hat!" barked a Britney.

"Yes! Any Britney flare!" insisted another.

"Wear it like K-Fed! Wear it like K-Fed!" realized a genius Britney, and we all knew she was right.

The more lucid Britneys exited the pod, but the rest of us were still in there when the doors closed.

"Wait!" yelled a Britney.

"What's going on? Do we seriously have to ride this thing? It takes 45 minutes to go around."

"It's Britney's gift to us," offered a Britney, sadly.

"This song gives me chills," remarked a Britney, and we all nodded in agreement and began singing along: "She's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries, cries, cries in her lonely heart."

As we floated, trapped in a claustrophobic bubble, high above the rest of the world, I couldn't help wondering if Britney had done this to teach us a lesson.

 

 

[Mr. Lucky]

2 hours ago, puppylo16 said:

Well in her defense, I would be afraid to be trapped in filled with die hard fans not knowing what they would do to me and not being able to escape. Thought I can feel their pain, it was misleading.

 

1 hour ago, break the ice said:

ok me

 

16 minutes ago, BLΛƆKPIИK said:

"We're meeting ******* Britney! We're meeting ******* Britney!"

"My weave!" yelped a Britney.

"I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out!" panicked another. A different Britney handed her a Xanax.

"Who has gum? Who has gum?" begged a Britney. "I've had so much wine!" 

"Britney won't care. Britney won't care," I assured her.

"You guys! You guys! Work ***** hat or no Work ***** hat?" I implored of my Britney brethren.

"No hat!" barked a Britney.

"Yes! Any Britney flare!" insisted another.

"Wear it like K-Fed! Wear it like K-Fed!" realized a genius Britney, and we all knew she was right.

The more lucid Britneys exited the pod, but the rest of us were still in there when the doors closed.

"Wait!" yelled a Britney.

"What's going on? Do we seriously have to ride this thing? It takes 45 minutes to go around."

"It's Britney's gift to us," offered a Britney, sadly.

"This song gives me chills," remarked a Britney, and we all nodded in agreement and began singing along: "She's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries, cries, cries in her lonely heart."

As we floated, trapped in a claustrophobic bubble, high above the rest of the world, I couldn't help wondering if Britney had done this to teach us a lesson.

 

 

 

This is without a doubt a great story, here are the best bits tho:

 

"for the millisecond it would take to get a promo shot with us, and then hauled *** out of there before any of us could process what had just happened.  

 the rest of us were still in there when the doors closed. "Wait!" yelled a Britney. 

"It's Britney's gift to us," offered a Britney, sadly. 

I couldn't help wondering if Britney had done this to teach us a lesson. "

 

 

 

I guess those girls deserved it because they didn't pay for a POM M&G experience...  

[Electro World]

That was something else

[BLΛƆKPIИK]

8 hours ago, SeductiveBritney said:

 

 

 

This is without a doubt a great story, here are the best bits tho:

 

"for the millisecond it would take to get a promo shot with us, and then hauled *** out of there before any of us could process what had just happened.  

 the rest of us were still in there when the doors closed. "Wait!" yelled a Britney. 

"It's Britney's gift to us," offered a Britney, sadly. 

I couldn't help wondering if Britney had done this to teach us a lesson. "

 

 

 

I guess those girls deserved it because they didn't pay for a POM M&G experience...  

This could be a ******* script for a movie. 

[Britneyqueenslays]

So inspiring